Atheists who used to be religious: Were you an atheist before you could admit it?

Of course. If you are brought up in the darkness of religion, it always takes awhile to show those around you that you do not believe in their dopey religious cult.

I wasn't an atheist before I could admit it to myself. I started thinking of myself as a non-theist when I stopped believing altogether. And I didn't admit to myself that I was an atheist until after I told people that I wasn't religious. But for years before that, I knew that I was something like that. I think the only reason I didn't admit it to myself was because I didn't have a word for what I am. Later, I did some research and found out that I was an agnostic-atheist, which fits perfectly with what I was feeling all those years before I told people.

Hmm well I never was particularly religious, when I was 14 I was for a few months, then I quickly became an active atheist.

However, before that when I was a "christian" I remember thinking that church was a waste of time, God is silly (Whenever I read an astronomy book, I secretly scanned over the 'big bang' section making sure nobody would notice me). Also, more interestingly, I remember when I visited my cousin at his basketball game (he played at a church) and we had a prayer, this was when I was about 8, and I looked up and though "this is just stupid why are we doing this just play the game", LOL.

But yes, to think about it I pretty much was, I didn't even acknowledge God for anything and thought it was made up, just like Santa Claus, that people would pull just to comfort themselves and people around him XD. Haha I miss being a kid, so young and innocent, not to mention hilarious!

Oh, but on point, I remember reading a magazine about Evolution when I lived in Florida in the 3rd grade, and I read about Cambrian fossils (the reminded me of pokemon) and I brought the article home to read it, since it was homework. My mom gave me a huge lecture on how the scientists didn't know because it could have been a cockroach that died on a spider or something stupid like that lol. I didn't believe her for a second.Oh, I remember also going to church when I was a kid, and we got a 'timeline' chart of the biblical age, and it stated that the Adam and Eve were created 4004 B.C., and so on and so forth. I never took it for more than a myth and a fable, LOL.

But yes, I always thought christianity was strange, even when I became a christian (Mainly due to the advent of my grandfather's death) I knew in the back of my mind I was really fooling myself, playing the 'devil's chasing me!' game.

Good times, good times.

I'm still trying to sort that all out. There's a part of me that still remembers the hardships I got through with my faith and then there's that part of me that thinks, "well what if my idea of God is really just me and that part of myself that is good?". I don't know but at this time I can't outright say for sure. My mother is another factor as well and I just can't bear to look her in the eyes and break her heart like that. I imagine it would be many years before I'd say it out loud and by then I just don't know if I would still feel the same. Life is mysterious that way. You just never know what tomorrow may bring. In the meantime though, I will continue to share the love regardless of what people absolutely believe or don't believe in. One thing's for sure, we're all in this together. Might as well take care of each other as best we can.

For many years, I thought there might be some kind of god, afterlife, etc. Then I learned about how people delude themselves into all sorts of nonsense. Psychics, ghosts, dowsers, aliens, that sort of thing. That's when I realized my own god-beliefs were the same sort of nonsense and at that moment, I became an atheist.

Yes I was. As a child society had implanted in my head the idea that a deity exists as if it was an indisputable fact. It was not until I realized that the greatest minds to ever live were open atheists, I was then proud to be apart of the demographic.

I think you tend to go agnostic for at least a little bit, then eventually go full atheist when you start to be fully convinced...

yeah when I was little when I went to church with a friend or something I was all like O.O the whole time, I remember thinking to myself "If God is so loving and loves all his creations then how come there is so much hate in the bible?"

Yup. I knew deep down I did not believe in God, but I just kept holding on to it, like asking God questions.

i am atheist but i still can't admit it yet.