I NEED HELP (not homework) WILL YOU HELP?

Sorry, I can't help you,

That log cannot be mine,

Mine are perfect spherical lumps,

Like ripening grapes on a vine...

I can't believe I just got that vulgar,

There's a demon inside of me,

Struggling to get out...

Constipationately...

(Pocket, Jan. 2012.)

Homework is a soreness interior the ***, besides the undeniable fact that it quite is well worth it and the consequences of no longer doing it are low grades, low self esteem, hating college, indignant mothers and fathers, and awkwardness around instructors. the proper component to do is do exactly the homework. do no longer attempt to think of, "I shouldn't..." or doubt your self - do exactly it! you may desire to be clever approximately it, do the homework this is maximum needed first, leave the little issues for final, take everyday breaks, no eating whilst working because it quite is distracting, NO television until you're thoroughly completed.

There once was a Yidiot from Ohio

Who shoved too many burritos in his pie hole

While blacked out from the pub

Took a dump in his tub

Now he thinks it came from some other arsshole

Ha, Ha.

Where have you been

I can't answer this poetry

until I drink more gin.

Since it is just fine

give me time.

Give me time,

I need to go to the bathroom.

Hope I'm not out of line,

Not out of rhyme

I will try not to miss the wall this time.

Who left the overalls in Mrs. Murphy's chowder

Nobody spoke so they shouted all the louder

It's an Irish trick that's true

I will lick the mick that threw

The overalls in Mrs. Murphy's chowder!

When Mrs. Murphy, she came to

She had to cry and pout

She had left them in the wash that day

And forgot to take them out.

-Maybe your tub serves double duty, like Mrs. Murphy's pot?

Oh, not a real clone, dear Lord,

don't think we could handle that;

one BUK is more'n we can afford

'fore we're left mental-fiscally flat!

Especially if this is the best

topic 'bout which you can blog,

but condolences 'n' all the rest

for you 'n' your unwieldy log!

there I sat

broken hearted

came to sh!t

but you had no toilet paper so had to dump in the tub

and use your shower massage as a bidet and attack

my Klingon's like I was captain freakin Kirk or something

so next time you have guests make sure your bathroom is

fully stocked oops I farted.

I hear they were taping a Buk Show

when the host asked for a five minute break

he grabbed his huge belly

things really got smelly

he let loose

and it's all on the telly.

I'm not surprised you're angered

But I think your cover's blown

Your doppel has been gangered

Or you've got yourself a clone!

I'm what a weird poem