would you believe a 4 year old......?

My son is 4 and tells some lies also but sometimes u can tell it isn't a lie. For example a few weeks ago my son said to my fiance "I dont want to se your pee thing like my dad" it came out of nowhere I said hat are u talking about does your dad show you his pee thing? He said "on the computer" obviously he saw porn at his dads house. There's no way a 4 yr old made that up. I was livid. Honestly I would reconsider letting your daughter spend unsupervised time with her grandparents. Its our job as prents to protect our children, if you don't know what's going on I wouldn't let her go.

I am assuming that the Grandparents in question are Daddy's parents? And perhaps you've had problems with them in the past? If that's true, then I would watch it...sounds like they're trying to poisen your daughter's mind against Mommy...and at this young age they are an open book, absorbing EVERYTHING that is said or seen. The fact is, you cannot tell a 4 year old child "don't tell mommy", because they haven't yet learned restraint on keeping secrets, least of all understand the concept of it. I would have a talk with Daddy and try to get to the bottom of it, and if push comes to shove, stop the overnights at Grandma and Grandpas house.

I would believe her on that. Where els would she get that? Plus my niece and nephew are in the same situation with the step mom. Someone is saying stuff and they dont want you to know. Otherwise a four year old would not know not to say something. I have an inhome daycare and four year olds will lie but its typically about what they are doing. Like "did you break this toy?" They will sometimes say "no" even when they did. A four year old would not know anything about "you cant say this or that or whats said here needs to stay here" type thing. Best wishes.

I tend to agree with you that such statements are too abstract for a toddler to invent. The mere fact that they urged secrecy on your child suggests an underhandedness that is unacceptable.

You need her father to get involved [you do not say whether he is with you or not]. By breeding discontent in your daughter, they are putting her happiness in jeopardy - and this is not on!

You may have to put your foot down and deny them further visits. Your daughter's contentment has to come first.

Wow, it doesn't sound like your toddler is lying. As you said they lie to keep themselves out of trouble. Their lies are fairly easy to spot. This is too complex for a four year old to come up with on their own. I just can't believe that grandparents could behave like that.

lying is a learned skill, a 4 yr old unless taught to lie, generally will not lie, and even if they do its usually about something small like whether they washed their hands

honest i think ur daughter was told that by someone so shw repeated it to u.....i dont think a four year old could come up w that on her own and really understand u know.....ur her mom u know her best u go w what ur gut is telling u