Why do people renew their wedding vows?

I agree with you on this..I firmly believe that the Marriage vows are and should be lived/renewed every day thru the way you treat your spouse and the way they treat you in return.....I imagine if a couple goes thru a really rocky patch and feels it's a romantic gesture to repeat their vows to each other, okay I get that...but that should be a private moment. This turning it into a spectacle or a party or an excuse to re-do a wedding for the wedding experience...seems quite self indulgent to me.

Like promise rings and destination weddings, re-dos, strapless pick up gowns, and white gold, the vow renewal has become a trendy thing to do....and that devalues the whole meaning behind it, and the original marital vows spoken. Only thing I can figure is because it's splashed all over the media with cheesy staged 'romance' on soap operas and 'chick' flicks, many are buying into it as the 'thing to do' to prove one's love to each other.

In my book, if after 10 years or so he is still willing to wake up to your dragon breath and eggbeater styled hair in the mornings, you tolerate his belches and farts at inopportune times, and you still laugh at each other's dumb jokes, enjoy sharing air space, chase each other around the bedroom, and stand by each other thru good times and bad....who needs a silly vow renewal?

My husband and I have no need to renew our vows....they 'took' the first time and are just as strong and meaningful now as they were when we first said them.....

..btw, I am waiting for re-do funerals...if ya don't like the way Uncle Harry's wake went the first time around...why not dig him up, pass the clothes pins around and do it all over again....just bring plenty of Febreeze....

What renewing wedding vows were during days gone by are completely different from what they have turned into today.

It used to be that a couple had a vow renewal ceremony after a period of marital uncertainty where they lost their way for one reason or another and now are recommitting to the marriage. Some folks had a vow renewal ceremony to celebrate and reconfirm their commitment on their 25th wedding anniversary.

These days, brides are changing all the traditions and reconfiguring what was to what they want and think they need these days. Often brides want to rush into a wedding and cannot afford what they really want and do not have the maturity to wait to get married when they can afford it or the maturity to save the money and have the wedding they want later. So, the reinvention of a vow renewal ceremony was born. These brides, because they did not get the wedding they wanted, now want that wedding they missed. But, they are already married, so another ceremony is pointless. Then the bright idea to bend the initial vow renewal meaning came into play so they could say they are having a vow renewal ceremony and have the wedding they missed in the first place.

I see this exact same scenario here on this web site all of the time. These girls are not satisfied with their wedding day for one reason or another, so they want a do over and call it a vow renewal. All within a year or two. Silly, isn't it?

The worst part is that because these brides had an initial quicky wedding, there was no bridal shower. So, now that is also part of this silly vow renewal farce, too.

Brides need to take accountability for their choices and stop with this nonsense of entitlement issues.

On second thought, I really was not happy with my son's birthday party. Do you think I should have another birthday party for him so this one is perfect? We could call it his half birthday.

@ Original Garnet Glitter: You are absolutely hilarious!!

I think you shouldn't be too surprised if you find a bit of opposition there. Not too many women would appreciate their husbands wanting to do something romantic like re-new their vows only so they can sleep with other people. Kinda puts a damper on the gesture. Then again, each to their own! She might be thinking the same thing but doesn't know how to approach the topic with you! You know your wife better than anyone so only you can be the judge of that. Just beware that if she doesn't go for the idea then you are going to have major sucking up to do to get back in her good books.

It often seems the purpose is to get "the wedding they never had", they seem to believe their real wedding didn't mean anything, but it's the flowers and the dress and all the frills that make a wedding. This is often combined with entitlement issues and a desire to be the center of attention. It's a way to get gifts and have people dote on you once again. Seems some women get addicted to being a bride, they don't want to move on!

Other times, a vow renewal is to reaffirm vows after they have been broken, when a marriage has been tested, and has returned from the brink of divorce.

Others consider a vow renewal a monumental way to celebrate a milestone anniversary.

My husband and I wrote our vows, they were perfect and they are for life, we won't be denigrating them by acting as if they expire! We show our love every day and being a bride was fun and all, but I'm quite happy being a wife now.

I completely agree with you but i always wonder this....

If an immigrant has been engaged and was planning their wedding only to be told they are going to get booted out the country soon so they are forced to rush to the courthouse....then what?

Im saying this because i know alot of people in this situation....

Im getting married at the courthouse myself but i don't believe in renewing my vows even though people are saying we can renew it down the line,i mean,to me that's just dumb but i cant go around and judge everyones situation as the same.

Give me a good reason like immigration and you get a pass.

I know alot of people say HEY well what about the military...that (in my opinion) is a situation you can wait for,don't know why people want benefits so badly...then again...am i judging?

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It's definitely never a necessity, but it can be a nice thing to do. Maybe you've been married 20 years, and had kids, and want them to witness your vows. Or maybe you just want to reiterate your feelings for your love. Although, I agree that you should just show the person you're with love every single day. A renewal should never be staged like an actual wedding either, in my opinion. It should be a simple affair so you don't seem like you're trying to just have another wedding.

Some couples want to renew their vows after a mile stone anniversary or after overcoming something difficult. Some people do not spend a lot of money on it. There are also some people who do it because they couldn't afford the have their dream wedding when the first got married and want to do it now. It doesn't mean they ever stopped loving each other, it just means they want to do it and renew their commitment and love for each other.

EDIT: I would like to add that when I renew my vows it won't be a second wedding. It will just be my husband and I our family, and our close friends there. The reception will most likely be taking everyone out to a nice dinner(which looking back now we should have done the first time).

There are many reasons a couple would do this. One that is quite common and not mentioned above is that often weddings occur around a personal (person close to the couple passes away) or major tragedy (Sept 11, 2001) and the couple wants to create a new, happier memory surrounding their vows.

Sometimes they just want to celebrate a new chapter of their lives (no more babies, kids left home, recovery from illness or injury etc) and do so publicly with all their family and friends.

Not everyone views a wedding (or vow renewal) as a waste of money, many people see it as a great celebration and gladly spend money to entertain and feed their family and friends.

I think wedding vow renewals are beautiful, (when they are done right) its not supposet to be like ok we have been married for 10 years lets renew our vows or 15 or 25 years, no. But when a couple who have been together 50 years do a vow renewal I think it is beautiful. Its just something nice to have. something nice to do to say I still love you today as much as I did then, look how far we have come together and I promise you again that I will always love you and be with you

Not needed but nice :)

I blame Heidi Klum and Seal for the proliferation of this trend. (no jokes about the state of their marriage now)

I guess people like to put on a show and three ring circus. I find it all very distasteful.