Will you c/c on this first draft poem called The Greatest Love?

Like everyone else here, I am glad to welcome you back;. Now, there is a poem before us…

L1 unnecessary and makes L4 sound repetitive

L4 either put quotes around “come into my heart, my life is yours Please forgive my sins—those I committed and those I shrugged off not helping a person in need.” (I also put in a comma for you) or “to” before “come” or “for you” instead of “to”

S4 “How can my love for any man, woman, child or baby…” maybe it is me, but this just does not sound right almost egotistical or slave-ish especially since this statement precludes your own offspring

S5L3 I like

S6 “but I tumbled through the tunnel of faces and fell into my body.” I like

S7(?) Eliminating makes it stronger

What is missing, I noticed, is your signature imagery. You do have some images (I noted the best/my favorite), but there are so few of them, it might as well be a declarative speech.

Hi, Tori I'm glad to see you. God takes good care of His people, I can relate to this beautiful story poem, Years ago i almost died of walking PNeumonia , i made it to the Hospital just in time , it was the Lord spirit that send me there, i was laying in bed refusing to go because of fear , thank God i went I stayed a week, if i have not listen to his voice, i would have being dead. Keep healing in His grace.

I know;

I know God walks with me;

He whispers in my ear.

His loving hands

Shape my life.

With Him I know no fear.

My footsteps

On my walk of life

May wander all around.

But Jesus' love

And sacrifice

Keep me safe and sound.

My walk began

Seven decades ago.

Some day I know it will end.

But one thing

That made it all worthwhile

Was having you for my friend.

We've missed you, Tori. Hope your return is a small taste of things to come. God keep you safe and well.

Warren

I'm so glad to see you Tori. Now to read your poem (be back to edit)

So glad to see you back, to know you received healing. (Otteri's back!) Your write was a testament to the Holy Spirit and your faith. I loved it, Sister.

A friend, who's taking a theology class, asked me my take on the explanation of Love, as it pertains to God and Christian faith. I sent him the following:

The love God has for us was manifest in His willingness to take the sins of all mankind upon himself, to be the sacrifice that would cleanse them all. His very word says it all: 'God is love.'

The love we have and show to others, most especially when we are quiet about it or where no eye can see, can be illustrated with the following analogy:

We are each given a bottomless well and required to fill it with pebbles. Where the pebbles go are not our concern nor our business; it is only our continuous effort to fill that well that matters - even while knowing it is an impossible task.

When we have the Love of God in our hearts, the only thing we must remember is to gather as many pebbles as possible in the time we are given. When we stand before God, it is then we shall see how close we came to filling our wells. It is then we will see where each pebble went and know that each of them was counted by God, Himself.

Love is jumping on a grenade to save your buddies; it is allowing someone ahead of you in line at Walmart; it is a smile, a kind word, a prayer for God to bless another; it is both a word and a deed.

When we love God with all our strength, all our hearts, all our minds, we want to give to Him that for which He paid the highest of all prices; He died to save souls, including our own; He then asks so little of us - to do all we can to win souls for His sake, that His death not be in vain for those who do not yet know Him. They are pebbles in need of a well, and they are everywhere; we will have no excuses for not finding them. And if we truly have the Love of God and love FOR God, we will.

Thank you, Tori, and it is just wonderful seeing you again!

Oh my Tori how wonderful this is, and how blessed we are to have you back with us. There has been an emptyness felt with you gone. Thank God you are back, I pray you are recovering and healing well, and may you remain well this and all your days. Hugs you, sweet Tori.

God bless you in your love for Jesus Christ.

that is very beautiful poem thanks for sharing it with me. I have been with the Lord over 38 yrs now and I love him too.

He brought a very wonderful man into my life the one whom I wrote about happiness to that you sent me in my email.

Be blessed forever walking with the Lord Tori. that is my little sisters name too Tori.

I like this poem. I don't know about composing of a poem but understand the beauty of emotions.It is true "word is God." I also like "His love is enough". It is really a greatest love because one can find His love after great love and devotion. Tori, it is really a very good poem and thanks for sharing with us.

God most likely is the only real love in the universe.

All other love fails us,His lives forever.

Good poem,glad you are better and wrote this.

bye...

Beautiful peace radiates from this poem, though some of this might be from seeing you posting again.

Thank you for posting.