Helpful ideas on this attempt for my family?

Hi Ski, I won't bash the piece strictly, but I will knock you on the head to apologize for who you are, aand/or what family expected, anticipated, wanted, felt, about the who and what you are now.

Not only is it self depricating, but self defeatest. You consign yourself to guilt for something not so sinful, or a fault. It may be valid to assume they should be apologized to, but it's against the grain for them to be intolerant or non accepting in a path you chose (or couldn't) in a direction you took.

I'm sure we all wish to please parents, most especially if the home situation was generally good, but the reality is not always idyllic, in their perceptions, or ours, but it is, after all, your life to live, to your OWN self inspection, and goals set.

With no offense to you, or them at all, I think to apologize not only dimishes you, but may fall on ears that won't listen or minds that may care.

Ski-Idaho

Little bro, this is powerful stuff. You are really in tune to emotion and feelings. I wonder if they will even understand this. Haven't you made amends to the countless times, and it has brought you down. I am simply saying this: What are, and who are, the things and people who uplift you? Be surrounded by them. Yes, you love your family and always will, but between the lines I still see an approach that seeks acceptance of you and of which that have never fully grasped, and never will. Love them, and thank them, but do not offer yourself up as a living sacrifice.

Your poem is good. Normally the repetitiveness of L3 and L4 does not work, but you Bret are in a category of your own. You make your own brand of poetry work, and I like it.

Well done, and I know this was difficult for you to write. :)

Edit: After having a chance to read the answers, all of which were good and different, but one stands out of which I was trying to say but hers hit the nail on that head! Dallas had a great answer S-I. You do not have to answer to your family any more. They know who you are, and you have nothing, NOTHING, to be ashamed of. If we were playing fake sword fighting right now I would slap the side of your head with the side of my short sword........right before you undercut me and pierce my side with your long sword.

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Very cathartic. I like your non-rhymes. And btw there is a poem I wrote for a birthday that you should see...

You could rename the poem expectations and end it with an insight into who you really are.

I understand the desire to apologise, but you could develop this into who you are or chose to become.

I get the "angst ridden teenage" comment earlier. I guess the hint here is wanting to see you as an adult drawn from the expectations into what you become or are becoming. You don't need to be what other people want. Instead show you have a unique voice.

Just my thoughts anyway.

Kudos for your courage.

To be brutally honest this is the type of poem we usually receive from angst ridden teenagers

I think it's good. It could be better only if you went a little deeper.

Show us the aftermath.