Am I asking too much of my husband?

I understand that you have had a very bad day but if you don't tell him about it, then how can he know? Obviously couples should be there to help and support each other in bad times and that makes a good marriage. My advice would be to let him go to his mens' evening at the church as it is good for him to have time to himself and is a positive thing that he is doing. Everyone needs time apart to do their own things and interests separate to the other person, this makes a marriage stronger as you are both individual people but choose to be together. You can tell him about what happened when he gets home and he can offer you emotional support then. Expecting your partner to always drop everything every time something bad happens, if it's not super important, is a little unfair and I'm sure you would feel the same if he expected you to do the same at every hands turn. Compromise is very important in a marriage, it's important to know when to pick your battles, when to let them go and when it is a good time to bring up important issues and discuss them. Rather than saying that you want him to drop everything and come running whenever you have an issue, it might be an idea to sit down with him at a good time when you know he is responsive to it and say that you love him so much and are always there for him whenever he needs you and that if he has any issues you are there for him and that communication is the key to a good relationship and that you both have needs and that you hope that when you have a problem or need to talk to him that he feels the same. If you have to ask him to drop everything, then he is not doing it willingly himself and it doesn't really count because you know in your heart that he feels he has to do it and doesn't really want to for himself. I'm sure when you tell him about your day, he will be sympathetic to you and comfort you at the right time. It doesn't mean that he has to drop everything at that particular moment to come to you as your bad day is over and he can't actually do anything physically to change what has already happened to you. Best of luck

Unless you express how you feel, he can not know. It might not change events for hour at church, but it might change when he arrives home. He might come home to you sooner. Somethings are not about ourselves in marriage, it hard to know the difference. Sometimes you have to learn to do things by yourself or you become dependent. The in between part of is this enough of a crisis to ask for help from your husband or not. Well I think you all should of at least meet up sometime before church, one to pay back the people you borrow money from for the cab and two just to make sure the credit cards got cancelled and anything else important.

You can't expect him to read your mind. Guys don't speak "hint." They don't pick up on subtle clues that to many women are loud. Sorry but that's just the way it is. If you really need him to stay with you, woman up and say it in so many words. Tell him about your horrible day and say, "I need to be with you tonight." With men, you have to say what you mean, otherwise they just don't get it.

Make staying home with you a pleasant choice, not a duty. Offer to do something you both enjoy, whether it's curling up with a good movie or cooking something special or taking a bath together. (What? You never did that? Try it some time.)

I've been married for 30 years and I've learned that no ask, no get. But if you open your mouth and let it out, 9 times out of 10 he'll be there for you.

THAT was your worst day ever??? Try loosing your purse AND not being able to borrow the money to pay for the cab AND not eating lunch all day because you're broke AND everything that could go with your work, does. That would be a bad day. YET, wouldn't be bad enough where I felt my husband needed to drop everything to come be with me. Only if I was in pain and unable to move would I expect. Otherwise, I'm a very big girl who can take care of herself.

You want him to be thoughtful because you selfishly want to be babied. Hmmm.. kinda funny when I think about it.

We all have to deal with a crisis now and then. They are not pleasant but we have to get on with it. Having your husband miss his meeting would not get you your purse back or put right all that went wrong in work. If you go through life with no worse a crisis than the one you describe you will be fortunate indeed.

Honestly, I guess it depends on the type of relatiosnhip you have with your spouse.

different couples, different dynamics.

That and also that men and women may perceive things differently. To you this may sound very important cos' you had a really bad day. To him, not so much...

And guys cannot also read minds ( contrary to popular belief) : so if you really need him to be around, ask him nicely. Then again if he needs to time away from, you need to respect his wishes too.

It may help to have network of friends and family, so you have other people to turn to if he is unavailable. I think some women feel that their spouse is insensitive to their feelings... but in fact it is simply that men and women sometimes react and process events ( like a horrible day @ work) in a different manner.

Just my humble obeservation...

You lost your purse. It's not like you found out you have a terminal disease.

Things happen. Use the quiet time tonight to cancel any cards you need to and look up the locations of where to get replacement stuff for things like your drivers license.

You are a grown up. Deal with it instead of wallowing in it,

Once done, have a hot bath with a glass of wine and reflect on the small nature of this problem.

Here's the question you always need to ask in these situations: Who has more interest or more to gain? In other words, on a scale of 1-10, which of us NEEDS this more?

How important is this thing at church? Is it something he shouldn't miss or something he's really been looking forward to? Or is it just another meeting he didn't want to attend anyway? Next, how badly do I need him with me? Is having him there going to help me significantly, or am I just going to want to vent about the day, or reflect by myself? Who NEEDS or WANTS this more? Who has more to gain by doing their thing? Only you can answer these questions. And if his need is greater or he stands to gain more by going, then you let him go. Tomorrow's another day.

Um..this is a crisis???

I think that you need to calm down and realize that you had a bad day and that this too shall pass. If you cannot handle a hard day every once in a while...then you are in serious trouble.

No, I don't think you would be asking to much of him to spend time with you. He should understand, since he is your husband. Every body has bad days, and it's comforting to have a loved one around to support you.