Would you care to comment/critique this poem?

Evadne Soliel

Just my kind of poem. Deep to the core of ones heart. You had to

reach deep in this one, and to really grasp this one we need to as

well. However, you already helped out, for this poem was like those

dragons had arms and held spears, and as I walked into the cave

they threw them at me faster than I could see. One pierced my

heart and went clean through----- so clean was it, and so thin was

the spear, that other than drawing me in to the core of your

repertoire here, I am fine. No damage, fine health. Peace.

It was interesting that the first stanza included the word

Eternity, and the last sentence is Genesis. Usually one

might think those should be reversed, but..

the prophecy of this poem is, that I am searching for the

meaning of life, death, Eternity, the beginning and the

end, and I shall employ anything--angels, seer, a savior,

to bear my cross and fit in my frame.

___________________________________________________________________________

I do not know if it is the hour of the day

the frame of my mind since the last bite

lack of proper sustenance

the massage treatment I received 4 hrs ago

or what

but I cannot cannot give you a proper critique

nor can I comment with any amount of intelligence on this poetic offering

except to say

it is good

That which you have been and are no more. I read this as a poem of re-birth. And lovely it was too Evadne. I enjoyed the rhythm in the writing and also the rhyme. Well done

It is a song and a video of the universe. The ending is not sad, but speaks to a spiritual rebirth. Rhyme and meter are superb.

Oh Lord that I could gather my wits and renew!

A spontaneous burst of genius in this poem...

I would prefer a or the in "I will become new Genesis" and the capitalization suggests you will become the book and not the garden.

But otherwise, I liked it very much.

chase the wind....

a most beautiful write

this poem seems sad, a deep sadness

I find it interesting and wishful

http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/index;_ylt=Amepk6Dtk3...

beautiful :)