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Has he started using again?
Hello my partner has been clean for nearrly two years and he has been on subutex since he stopped using smack. His dose was reduced about 6 months ago and he tried to come of them and went through a detox this failed and he went back on the subutex. He has been through a bad patch recently and he was depressed all the time and i found out his doctor had upped his dose of subutex. The other day i found a syringe, i immediately thought he was using again and yesterday i found the syringe, spoon and a subutex in like a pack in his bathroom which he clearly tried to hide i really dont know what to think of it. i asked him what he was doing in the bathroom and he said using the toilet. I told him that i know but i think he thought i was just trying to trick him into telling me. How do i confront him? i really want to help him but he just can not be honest i really dont know what to do and feel way out of my depth.
If he is using what would be the signs?
thank you
1 Answer
- dakinijonesLv 79 years agoFavorite Answer
A syringe and a spoon are very strong signs of an intent to use. However it is likely that havng injected heroin your partner wouldn't have got much of a high from it. However, although subutex is an opiod inhibitor I'm not so sure it inhibits something like cocaine, so perhaps he could inject that. We didn't have subutex used in the way it is now when I was injecting drugs so I don't know. That's the facts side of things.
On the relationship side of things - it is not your job to snoop on your partner to track down whether he's using. Neither is it your job to help him with it. As you say, you are out of your depth. You can't help him unless he wants to help himself. And since he's already got off drugs once then you know that he knows exactly what to do if he wants help. And if he wants to speak to you about it he will. You could maybe say something about noticing the drug paraphernalia in his bathroom - but it's not your bathroom so you have no right to complain and there's every chance he'll just tell you it belongs to a friend.
Your job is to look after you. Set boundaries for yourself about what behaviour from him you will accept and don't break them. It's up to you what you connsider to be unacceptable behaviour but if he exhibts it then don't accept it. For some people keeping drug paraphernalia would be unacceptable behaviour, for others it's lying or stealing or failing to turn up for dates because the drugs are more important. Work out what your limits are and keep them. I was a drug addict and I've been clean and in recovery for 15 years and I would tell you that it's hard - very hard - to love an active addict. Don't for a minute think you can help us unless we're as willing to put as much into recovery as we were into our drug use.
As for your partner, if it was me I'd tell him that I recognise a drug injecting kit when I see one and if he ever wants to talk to me about it then I'm there. And I'd leave it at that. But have an eagle eye out for my definition of unacceptable behaviour with a mind to zero tolerance.
