what is the appropreate time/stage in a relationship for these milestones:?

I'm always getting accused of holding out, using women for sex, stringing them along, moving too fast, pushing women into something they're not ready for, being needy, smothering, whatever. It seems to me women will tell me they want me to come over or see them all the time, so I come over a lot, and then when they get mad or restless or bitchy or something and they tell me they need space, and that I'm not normal for coming over all the time. Ot I tell her I love her after a monthth or two, and she tells me she isn't ready to say that, but later does and then later tells me I made her say I love you by saying it too soon. Or things are humming along and the woman is pissed at me for not wanting to answer her 10th text that day, falling asleep without calling to wish her goodnight, only coming over 3 or 4 days a week, not asking her to move in with me after 3 or 4 months, for not asking her to marry me after 3 or 4 months? Is it abnormal to be spending 4 or 5 days a week at somebody's house after 2 months of going out if you are falling in love with them and really getting along (if you are invited that is). Is it abnormal to not want to move in after 3 or 4 months? Is it abnormal not to want to ask a girl to marry me after 3 or 4 months? My last 2 relationships seemed to have almost broken up or broken up over what seems to me to be rediculous rules that she makes up as she goes along, or at least that's the excuse.

what is the appropreate time/stage in a relationship for these milestones:

staying over

sex

staying over for the whole weekend?

staying over and not going out?

staying over 2 weeknights in a row just because?

staying over more than 3 days a week?

I love you

moving in

asking her to marry me

marriage

dating after a seperation/divorce/breakup