Just wanting to Vent?

I know you'll probably roll your eyes at this but remember things can only get better, and there is absolutely no point committing suicide because although it may not seem it, the people around you love you, maybe try mentioning to your husband that sometimes you'd like to talk about things and if the relationship's right then he'll listen, say to your mum that you feel like she's insulting you and she will stop or at least think about what she's saying before she says it. Remember if people want you to fix things for them its because they 100% count on you, they know you can fix them and yes it may seem like they're taking advantage of you, but really they just need a bit of help and they're being dumb and ignorant and ignoring the fact you may have other stuff going on, so next time just say. And there is no point saying you'll never be happy because if you truly believe you'll never be happy then things aren't gonna get much happier. Think to yourself, this is just a rouch patch, things can only get better.

I really hope i helped, and please no more suicidal thoughts, cos if no one else wants you around then at least I do :) xxxx take care

Hey, hunny you need to pull over if your driving okay? You need to relax, take deep breaths and have some alone time.

I'm so so so sorry about your father, and about your mother. Your mother is probably still grieving, and doesn't want to admit/doesn't know how to cope, so she's taking it out on you by distracting herself. Which I know is very very wrong, but let her run her course, don't say a word. Sit there an let it happen, listen to what she's saying, when she says it does she sound mean? Or does she sound angry? Does she sound lost and tired? Does she sound okay? Is what she saying, close to anything your dads ever said? I know it's hard, but if she just sounds mean, and you have to make this judgement, then tell her to stop. Don't say it like 'I HATE YOU AND ALL YOU EVER DO IS MAKE FUN OF ME!" because then you sound like a little girl, and she won't take you seriously. Try talking to her adult to adult, explain to her that you lost dad too, and that her making fun of you the way she does hurts you. That you provide for her, and take care of her, and that does not mean she gets to act like a child again. Tell her that she is still your mother, a grown woman and she needs to act that way or your going to stop providing for her. Tell her this in a clear way, no beating around the bush, say it with confidence.

Secondly, with you do other peoples jobs, is that what you applied for? In the job opening, did it say you would have to do that? Does it really bother you that much? You could try talking to your boss, or maybe suing him? There's got to be some law or something if he makes you work like that with no raise. LOOK INTO THAT FIRST, DO NOT JUST SUE, incase there's nothing to sue for.

The hating your job thing, think about what you do want to do, think about it and look around town, ask what the qualifications are to get the job, and try to get those qualifications, then see about applying for your dream job :)

Your tired of life the way it is, then change it up. Even if it's just your wardrobe, or diet, or excersize routine. Even if it's just the colour of your bedsheets! Change stuff up, slowly, untill you get where you wanna be :)

Husband stuff, make a list of what you do and don't like about your husband (DO NOT LET HIM SEE IT) do the goods outweigh the bads? If not... Seek marriage counseling, or maybe try talking to him, tell him what will make the marriage better. Chances are, if your not having a blast, neither is he.

I know it's hard pretending to be happy and smiley all the time, but you didn't mention where you work. You said you have 'paitents' so is that a hospital? You just have to try and be happy, find someone at work that isn't stuck up, there's bound to be one person, and talk to them (don't overwhelm them, just do it slowly) (: you'll find you'll feel better, just talking to anybody will help. Also, the excersize and diet, that can also make you feel a lot better :) (like happier)

When you hang around you dads graveyard, see who else is there, you'll be surprised how amazing you'll feel by letting another person vent, and in return they'll let you talk about your father :) but actually listen, some of their stories are amazing and sad at the same time. You'll also make some new friends.

Oh and get a jar, and try putting change in there, loonies, toonies (dollar and two dollar bills) dimes and nickles and quaters ect, into the jar. Use a big jar, like a pickle jar, and when it's finally full, count it up, see how much is in there and buy yourself something nice or use the money to contribute to a spa day or something.

Or you can even do a spa day at home! Get a couple of the girls to come around, paint each others nails, do facials, ect :) and just talk, talk about there lives and your life, they may even help you understand why you and your husband have lost that spark.