I choice not to expose my kids?

you have evryright in the world to keep your children from talking to him it is your desicion and your mom has no right to yell at you over it she is your mom but you are an adult that knows what she wants for her children, she doesn't have to tell tyour brother when they are with her so she shouldn't be in a bad position, if you don't want him involved in your kids life she needs to respect your decision not what she wants to do, they are not her kids.

I hope this helps and I would personally find a new babysitter if she keeps doing it, and then if you have to only let them be around your kids if you are there.

and I wish you the best of luck

(have you tried telling your kids they can't talk to him, then when your mom tells them he wants to talk they can say "no mommy said Im not allowed." just a thought they might not be quite old enough though)

It's hard to see how your brother could harm your children over the phone. You've put your parents in a difficult position- they either have to tell your brother he can't talk to your children, which will make him mad and upset with them, or they have to give up keeping your children.

This sounds more like revenge for the way he treated you as a child. I can't understand what you've written about that, so I'm unclear about this diagnosis of mental illness. Most brothers push their sisters down and wrestle and throw things, so that's not proof of anything wrong with him. Has he been diagnosed as an adult?

Well, I hate to say this, but it's something to think about.

If mental illness runs in your family, chances are you could have such a child. Whether you choose to address and accept it is immaterial. However, would you want your grandchildren to communicate with their aunt/uncle...aka your child?

What I see in you is someone who is harboring ill feelings against someone who may not have had the mental capacity to make medical decisions for themselves. Your mother is clearly at fault here, but it's not easy to accept that your own child is somehow handicapped. Now for the safety of your children, I totally agree that being in his presence may not be the best thing. But not allowing them to talk to him on the phone is a bit overboard.

My heart goes out to you, but this is your brother. And you need to let this go. But yes, make sure your kids are safe.

Best wishes.

It is your choice how to raise your kids and if your parents do not respect your wishes and disrespect you and your an adult I would also confront your parents and not put up with that nonsence again they are totally out of place if they even disrespect you these are your children not theirs -- I would be limiting or stopping visits with grandparents as well

I would not let your parents sit for the kids anymore until you can trust them again to respect your wishes, I agree your kids should not be exposed to him.

If I answered like you asked would you understand me?

Stick to your guns. I am infuriated every time my brother (schizo) comes over and my mon (dementia) lets him in to steal from me.

But hey, if he's not on meds then he isn't stable and you can't predict his behavior. You dont want your children getting attached then cutting them off, that's confusing depending on how you go about it.

Best of luck

Your kids, your choise. You're trying to keep them safe. F*ck what your parents think.

whatever is best for your kids of course