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How to get my mom to understand that she is dating the wrong guy?

Hi everyone, i am a 19 year old college student, i live away from home, coming home during summers, xmas, etc. my mom has been dating this guy since i was about 14" so about 5 years. She has a history of dating aweful men. This guy is no different. He has jealousy issues so bad, its ridiculous. He death glares anyone who so much as looks at my mom. He threatens other guys and my moms friends. He also has anger issues. Hes broken the wall several times. They have broken up several times but they keep getting back together. The last time, my mom started dating a different guy. I thought they were broken up for good. He came over and the police were called by the boyfriend for some reason (i wasnt home at the time). I didnt do anything before, i let my mom make her mistakes and get hurt. When she got back with this guy again. I made it clear i disapprove. I am uncomfortable around him because his anger is downright scary sometimes. Im afraid my mom will get physicall hurt. Me and my mom get allng really well except for this point - i dont like her dating this guy. He lives at the house even though he has his own place. My mom recently told me she eas going to let him move back in. I am currently visiting my dad and am going home on monday. I have made it iclear i dont want him there when i return but she is not listening to me. I have told her i wont be returning after i leave for school if he doesnt go. I dont know what to do. She says she is the mother, adult, etc. and yes she is. But on this one thiing, i can safely say, she is making the wrong decision. How do i get her to understand that i dont like this guy, not for fun, but because there are reasons. How do i can i get her to understand that while i may still be young, i can see when things arent right and she needs to listen to me for once in my life.

Thanks for reading!

Update:

Thanks for the answers all! O am not at all afraid tha me and my mom would stop talking. Like i said, we have a really good and close relationship. I will try to talk to her calmly, i have tried it before, it always makes me s mad though because she doesnt see what i see even though im trying to explain to her as best i can.

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Young lady I must say you are right! Your Mom don't need to be in this relationship. But it is her life to live and if you start telling her how to live you can push her into his arms even more making her hate you for getting in the middle of this. Some time's you have to stay out of thing's. My Mother married a Man I did not aprove of and I put my nosie in were it did not belong! Mother told me not to ever look on her face agin. Not untill she had a stroke 11 years ago would she talk to me agin. They are nolonger together. I lost 5 years with my mother becouse I got in the middle of her relation. I can never get that back. I pray my mother will live a long time and regret time I lost.

    Source(s): Been there
  • 9 years ago

    I dont know how you went about telling your mom before, but i think that a calm conversation (maybe over dinner) might work it out. She most likely will not agree with you the first time. However, keep in mind that you shouldn't make it obvious that you don't like him or be disrespectful to her bf ecspecially. Convincing your mom will take time. But if and when you talk to her, don't "lose it" or accuse him or anything of the sort. Just think of it as a debate. Say something, provide evidence. If she says something, be like "I know mom, but....." something something something. Just take it a day at a time. And one other thing. Don't threaten her or him like that. Don't tell her that you're not going to return. It'll just make her more defensive and closed-minded. WIsh you the best. =)

    Source(s): Experience
  • 9 years ago

    U need to stay out of it, There's important things in this that are better then your mom dating a future prisoner with anger issues, On the other hand keep an eye on your mom cause who knows what this guys capable off.

  • 9 years ago

    I am no good at advice for these kinds of things, but seeing as these kinds of stories makes me die a little a inside and there are no answers, I will try to help.

    Talk about to your dad or other family members to see if they could persuade her into seeing things for the best or if they could help you out on the problem. You can also ask a trustworthy friend for help and see what they can do for you.

    Best of luck!

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  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    Should you are living in her condo then it is simple appreciate her desires. It is no longer about if she is correct or wrong, it is now not about if she is racist, it is about the reality she is your mother. Nothing unsuitable with doing the whole lot you can to change her mind as long as you don't break her principles doing it. When you exhibit your self to be mature and respectful she might be extra likely to return the therapy.

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