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Cutting off ties with a bad group of friends and quiting drinking.?
I am 20 years old and I am not an alcoholic but a binge drinker. I will drink on Friday or Saturday. Sometimes Friday and Saturday and consume large amounts of alcohol with my group of friends.
I am currently out of work and have been for six months. I am finding it hard to gather a routine and have found myself becoming very bored and boring. I will normally go round a friends house at the weekend and drink a lot just due to the fact there is nothing to do and drinking provides some form of entertainment.
I want to turn my life around and stop binge drinking and only drink very little on special occasions. I want to also start eating healthy and to have a good job and hobbies and for my life not to revolve around getting drunk on the weekend. I have found my hangovers have been becoming unbearable and I will vomit the next day causing friction with my family as they have had to pick me up from friends houses when I have been ill the next day after drinking.
I am finding it hard to do this due to the group of friends I drink with which consist of my good friend, her boyfriend, her boyfriend's brother and his friend. They drink a lot and would most likely be considered alcoholics. They drink daily and will wake up and drink. They also smoke cannabis daily and on drinking sessions will have quite a bit of cocaine which I will sometimes participate in when I am drunk. Whenever I tell them I am not going to get drunk or do any drugs with them they seem to laugh and doubt me and then talk me into doing it. I then regret my actions and cringe the next day to the point where I am so paranoid about what I have said and done. In the past when I have been drinking I have acted fairly promisicious and really regreted it as it is just not who I am. My friends boyfriend is abusive verbally to my friend and it is quite uncomfortable to be around them at times, and I think I drink quite fast due to trying to put up with it. I don't do anything with them that doesn't involved drinking, so I think my best option is to cut them off. But I have no idea how, where to start and if I will be able to. My will power is not strong and I always seem to start something without seeing it through.
I would really like to have a go at giving up drinking as I am tired of drink changing the person I am, making me act promisicous and ruining my jobs. I just don't know where to start and how to cut ties with my group of friends. Any help would be really appreciated.
3 Answers
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
The first thing is, you've realised it's turning your life bad. Now you know you want to change, the rest will soon come. Well done for wanting to change and become a better person :) If you only drink on weekends, then the odd weekend, decline, say you're not in the mood, have something else on, a bit under the weather. Ease yourself into not drinking with your friends while trying to meet new, positive people. You should be able to phase out your friends while associating with new ones. Try as hard as you can to resist peer pressure. Laugh off whatever they say to you, and simply don't comply with them. Be your own person. Look for a job; this will help your boredom too and increase your workload. If you're in the UK, then jobs at the minute are hard to come by. Try getting into college, or sitting GCSE's to help your job application. I really hope it works out for you :)
- 9 years ago
Hi Tabitha
It is really hard to cut ties when you see th same people day in and day out. Perhaps you could talk to your parents and explain the situation, and that you need some help. the ideal would be for you to be able to move away and start doing something productive for your future. After all, are your mates still going to be your mates when you are twenty eight with no job prospects and no future? Probably not.
Do you have family in another city? Perhaps you could move in with them for a year while you go to a local college and figure out what you want to do with your life. Or perhaps you could ask your parents to pretend to 'forbid' you to see your friends else they will kick you out of the house. That way, you can pretend to your friends that it is all your parent's doing and then they will not be able to make you feel bad for not joining them every weekend.
If you cannot go to college, perhaps you could consider doing a degree via the Open University? It is pretty affordable (you probably spend that much on alcohol) and there are a range of courses you can do. If you are not picky about the type of degree you want, you can choose to study almost anything. Check out their entrance criteria because, if you are a school leaver, you probably qualify and it really is not as hard as you might think. They guide you through the whole process and make studying pretty enjoyable.
I did a degree through the Open university and would highly recommend it. I also made some really good friends and it was a real ego boost and definately helped me find a job.
Source(s): Personal Experience - PRMLv 69 years ago
In my opinion @Nick has given you a perfect answer.
Yes, if your "friends" on rising then that's Alcoholism! They use chemical stimulants to entertain their short attention spans, quell their low self-esteem and fill their empty minds with hallucinations.
From your writing I can deduce you are very different: you're particularly intelligent and insightful. You've finally grown up. Don't bother with those sociopath wasters.
As @Nick wrote, gradually replace them with positive and valuable friends.
Keep at it....
Source(s): Life experience.
