Changing adopted child's name?

As an adoptee all I can say is that I really appreciate that my adoptive parents kept my name - it meant alot, more than I can say, that they respected me enough not to take away my name.

As for 'being young enough to change her name' I call BS - as someone who was adopted as an infant I can tell you we become adults, become aware and have opinions on what happened to us and to know that adopters swept away all that we had left of our original identity doesn't sit well. At all.

ETA There will always be someone claiming 'friends, acquaintances and co-workers' or a cousin of their hairdresser's sister in law who 'doesn't feel that way' in an attempt to dismiss someone who's actually lived adoption. Sigh.

Changing someones first name makes little sense, except as a token of ownership for the adopters.

Unfair, yes. You say you are concerned for her when she gets older. What if when she gets older, she hates the fact that you changed her name and would have liked to keep her given name.

Her name, her decision to change it if she wants when she is older.

She goes by Aubie, so why would you change it from Auburn to Aubrianne. That just seems ridiculous.

Even more ridiculous is the fact that you would let something as stupid as football influence you.

She was named for Auburn for a reason and you need to respect that.

I personally don't think any child's name should be changed when someone adopts them unless they have an extremely unique name and it is a safety concern for the child to keep it, such as a child from foster care who has very abusive and dangerous relatives that could easily track him/her down.

Yes, you could trade an adopted baby's name at finalization. For that topic, that you would be able to exchange a biological baby's identify at any time as good! I adopted my son through foster care when he used to be 2-half of. His given title was a made up name and was rather girly-sounding. My (then) husband and i decided to vary our son's title upon finalization of his adoption and started calling him by using the new title as quickly as we brought him house with us. He had been in foster care because birth and considering that his foster household spoke best Spanish, they were unable to pronounce his name as it started with an 'sh' sound. They called him by using pet names, like babas and mi hijo, so he did not rather understand his title. If I had known then (5 years in the past) what i know now, i do not consider i'd have converted my son's identify, even though I rather love the name we gave him. It does not look to have precipitated him any trauma and he says he is completely happy we converted it, however he is handiest 7. It is relatively as much as you, however believe of the child and all s/he's losing by way of being adopted (first moms and dads, familiar environment, improved family individuals, family tradition and history, and possibly even a language) instead than your self.

I get rabid football rivalries (I live in Vikings/Packers country) but if she's ALWAYS called Aubie I just don't see where it's a big deal. Even when she gets to kindergarten, if your schools are like ours, you get a sheet of paper that asks what your child's preferred name is to be called. Just put Aubie on everything that does not legally require the full name. Don't let her identity be carried away by football.

She is aware what her name is and there is no need to change her name as she is used to being refered to the shortened version of her name. If SHE wants to change her name when she is older then that is HER choice.

ETA This should always be about the child not what a relative / family member / or someone that person knows did as that is an adult's decison for the child therefore completely disrespecting the child.

My son knows why I chose his his names and likes the reason why, his middle name was kept because it's his adoptive father's name.

I was adopted when I was 4. My name went from Kayla to Mikayla and I totally hated it for a time. I would flat out refuse to respond to anyone who called me Mikayla. It wasn't until I was about 12 that I started liking my name. But now I'm 22 and I love my name, I'm so glad that she changed it. I think it would be fie to change it and if she still hates it when she is 18 she can change it back.

Three years old is a tricky age. Yes, it is still young enough to change her name but it is old enough that she already knows her name.

I don't really think that changing her name because of a football team is really that good of a reason but since she goes by "Aubie" you could gradually start calling her "Abbie" and change her name to Abigail or keep it at "Aubie" and change her to Aubrianne which has a nice ring to it.

The bigger issue is the two other children. Do they know her name? Do they understand that her name will change but they can keep their name? If they are younger than her, it probably won't matter but if they are older, you will have to sit them down and explain that Aubie's name is going to be changed but they don't have to worry about their names being changed.

You might want to talk to a therapist and ask what is the best way to transition into the new name.

@H*********. Not all adoptees feel the same way you do. I have friends, acquaintances and co-workers who were adopted also and whose names were changed. Some didn't like it and some were happy about it because they were more of a "Nancy" than a "Donna." You speak for your experience and as such it has legitimacy and validity but you don't speak for all adoptees and I would much rather her go and talk to a therapists and find out the potential ramifications and how to transition the new name then to do it straight out.

If kids are going to pick on her, they wilk find something else to pick on her about. I am a 6'2 lady and got picked on for being taller than the rest of the kids. I wouldn't bother changing.

We had some friends that got a child placed with them at 2 days old, and they adopted him at 2 or 3 years old, and changed his name. We all struggled calling him by his new name, still do, and that's been 3 years now. Everyone, except family, slips up and calls him Bryce, instead of his not so new name now.

I don't think so! We had a foster boy named Ebur Hart and we changed his name completely to Jackson Ebur-hart Yates. Hec aught onto it quick. He is three