Help please bridesmaid dilemma!!??(dif)?

I see nothing wrong with you posting this. You're in an honest dilemma and need some honest advice. Don't let others drag you down. You need some lifting up!

That being said, I will tell you what happened to me 30 years ago. My friend since childhood got engaged and asked me to be her maid of honor. I was so thrilled! Now, these two dragged the engagement on and on for about 3 years, and finally, it was time to start planning. On THE DAY of the wedding, with NO prior communication from her, I found out that I had been demoted to bridesmaid and her NEW best friend was the maid of honor. I was pretty hurt and while I stayed, said nothing, and made her day beautiful, it really did hurt. Couldn't she have called and apologized, but said that she'd chosen another for whatever reason? Something? Why embarrass me by finding out on the day of the wedding as we were lining up?

So, if you don't think these girls are working out, talk to them. Let them know that you feel that things aren't going so well, and that you need to have a strong wedding party supporting you. Specify what you need them to do. I don't know if I wasn't doing my job or what, but it still hurts to know that this girl chose me, then un-chose me. I just don't consider her a friend any more. Unless they are laughing behind your back and really insulting you, just keep them. I promise you, in 30 years, you'll be glad you did.

Weddings are an emotional time for everyone from family to friends to you and your intended. It would be inappropriate to unbridesmaid them, but if they backed out on their own it would be fine. Adding more would be a good idea as long as you don't add too many and have enough groomsmen to compensate. Remember the bigger the bridal party the more incured expenses. If you really feel you can cute these two girls out of your life for good, then debridesmaid them and consider changing the date of the wedding and place if you have that set. Do consider that maybe these friends are jealous or feeling incompentant in their own lives. I can't tell you how many times people said they would do things, then change their minds and say no, then say well why didn't I get to do that! It's a headache. You need your bridal party to be strongly there for you. Maybe you want to sit both of them down in a public place and say that you need them to be there for you and your new future husband. That if they aren't willing to put in the time and effort that they could decide not to be a bridesmaid with no hurt feelings, give them the chance to back out. Instead of you saying they can't. I did have to do that with my sister. She was due around the same date as my wedding. I just said, look you have this and this going on you aren't going to be feeling up to it...make it about what's best for them. They will go along with whatever you want, afterall you are the bride. Just make sure you don't change your mind any more times and proceed very carefully with all other decisions from here on out.

I'm happy to help you with this question. I'm gonna be a wedding planner after high school and the bridesmaid drama is something that will be around me alot. First of all know it's gonna be okay! Those friends sound like fickle friends who will only be there sometimes but not ALL the time. You don't need that! Of course you can unbridesmaid them. I would've done that already. You should have your real friends there! You must have other friends that acually ARE your close friends and you just don't see it yet. If they have a problem after you unbridesmaid them they should know why it happened and apologize. In the end though, you can't care. As someone who loves weddings I know how us girls get. The cake must be: PERFECT, The dress must be: PERFECT, Our whole damn wedding has to be: PERFECT. But, in the end know it's about the fact that your gonna marry the one man that makes you the happiest person in the whole entire world and your gonna spend a long life being happy, making memories, and making love. :) Congrats! Everything will be okay. I have faith.

That's lovely ridiculous with the eighty bridesmaids wow! I think having an excellent small quantity is respectable like four the limit could be 6. Also, bridesmaids would without doubt be siblings, you probably have a colossal family with a variety of sisters just have your sisters within the bridal party. If there are not any sisters, have 1 or 2 cousins, and 1 nice buddy

I'm not sure what you are expecting them to do. Being a bridesmaid involves wearing a dress of the bride's choice and standing up with her on the wedding day. Anything else is extra and it's rude to ask for it. If they give it freely, that's great.

Also, I feel like you're not helping the situation with your own behavior. Instead of talking to them about what was bothering you, it sounds like you just got on Facebook and tried to stir up some drama. So I think you need to look at what you may be doing to encourage their behavior first.

In any case, you have chosen who you've chosen, and there's not much you can do about it right now. Keep them as your bridesmaids and just work with them; obviously they are your friends, even if they aren't your closest right now, and it's not worth losing them over. And definitely do not put them on the men's side - that is a bratty thing to do and will make you look spiteful.

Sorry to be blunt, but every bit of this is on you. I'll never understand people who are careless about picking bridesmaids, but that happens. What is incomprehensible to me is posting on FB about your bridesmaid drama. How old are you?

Firing a bridesmaid is almost never done, and it should only take place for really egregious behavior. That doesn't apply here - you just picked the wrong ones. And dressing them in black and putting them on the groomsmen side is just another example of you not thinking anything through. That's a horrible idea.

Just work through it all. Since your other friends seem interested in the stagette, you could talk to these girls and tell them the other ones want to throw this, but you understand it's also their job. Then see what they say.

PS - Your FB posting wasn't "subtle" if they saw it and changed their behavior. It was passive aggressive. Was the point to make them sit up and start behaving for a couple days? Well, they did. Now what?

My dear, if you unbridesmaid them, then you will appear to be the fickle one. Why not ask them if they are really interested in being bridesmaids, and tell them bluntly what this involves, I.e., all the time and money they will have to spend on pre wedding parties, dresses, dinners, and gifts. Maybe they will decline the role when they fully understand this is about you, not them. Let them know they will each be spending hours and hours of time helping you prepare the wedding, and hundreds of dollars on parties, dresses, special makeup, etc etc etc.

You can't ” unbridesmaid” them unless you want to lose them as friends. You should not have vented this on Facebook. That was very immature. You made your bed. If your friends want to throw you a bachelorette party, nothing is stopping them.

Well this will be YOUR day and you should not let anyone make that special day away from you. Tell them if they do not stop there non sense then they are out. And I think you should have your other friend from grade 5 in the wedding if she is.TRULY your friend

This is you and your fiance's wedding! If you aren't comfortable having them as your bridesmaids replace them