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Ladies only: Would you set up one of your female friends with one of your male friends if he asked you to?

I'm 34. I've never been married, and I haven't even dated anyone in a little over 6 1/2 years. I admit that I'm introverted and honestly a bit awkward socially - at least with people I don't know well already. I also admit that I'm a bit of a homebody, but it's not like I never leave the house. I go to church every Sunday and Wednesday, and sometimes I visit other nearby churches besides the one I normally attend. Other than that, the main places I go to are work, the grocery store, and the library. Sometimes I'll go to these places or book stores, for example, not because I need or want to but just to get out of the house and increase my chances of meeting single women. I really do not like or want to do the club/bar scene. But my experience, even during very busy times in public like Friday or Saturday nights, is that most of the unmarried females I encounter are too young for me - i.e. teenagers - or they are much older than me or are already married. So in short, other difficulties aside, I find it hard to even find single women in their 20s or early 30s. I live in a suburb near Birmingham, Alabama, if that helps give an idea of the demographic I'm dealing with.

So I recently decided I needed some help and sent Facebook IMs to a whole bunch of my female friends (a very few of them relatives) since I figured that was the quickest way to contact a lot of people. The people I asked range from the age of early 20s to late 30s. I simply asked if they knew any single females they could introduce me to. Though not everyone I messaged has replied yet, many have, and I pretty much get the exact same reply from every one of them: "No. All of my friends are married or in relationships." Some will add something to the effect of "But I'll keep you in mind if I find/think of anyone." One friend could think of one single friend, and it turned out to be someone I dated for a short time about a decade ago. My half-sister's answer was that she knew some single women but that they all had serious issues so she wouldn't really recommend them to me. One friend who lives out of town said that she knew some single women but she pointed out that they were all near her, and so it would be a long-distance relationship if she introduced me to anyone (so far this is the most positive answer I've gotten).

I provide all that background info to ask the following. I just am having a hard time believing that out of all the people I've asked, none of them know any single females. Perhaps it's simply that I don't want it to be true, but it does seem to fit with my own experience that all the women I meet are married or in relationships already - even the ones too young for me. But my question is this: Is it possible that my female friends actually do know available girls but don't want to introduce them to me? Is there some kind of unspoken female rule that you don't fix your male friends up with your female friends? Should I take these replies at face value, or is there something else going on that they're not telling me which I don't understand?

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  • 9 years ago
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    I know this is a weird way to start my explanation, but have you ever thought of praying to God for help? You said you go to church, so maybe you should ask Him to bring a woman into your life. I'm just saying this because I met my husband after praying for help, and I even bring it up to some of my clients (I work in Relationship Therapy) and it almost always results positively.

    Okay, so honestly I feel that some of the women you asked may have had preconceived thoughts of you and may not have thought you would be a good match for any of their friends, especially if you haven't talked to them in a long time. Some of them seriously may not have had any female friends available. I don't think there necessarily is a "female rule" regarding the fact that they didn't mention any potential people.

    I can see how it is very difficult at your age when everyone else seems to be in a relationship of one sort or another. Some of your friends may have some females they think could be good but sometimes it is awkward to bring it up to others. What I mean is that many females don't like to be single once they hit their 30's. I know this because I've seen it. So they don't want to promote themselves to others saying "hey I'm single!" and whatnot. It can be embarrassing.

    Not all women work the same way, so you shouldn't just assume all women have some secret rule they hide from men. Although, I do agree that females can be extremely confusing to men.

    Just keep a lookout. Don't get desperate. God has the right woman out there for you. Just pray about it and she will come into your life at the right time.

    Source(s): Work and personal experience
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