How Do I Tell Her "No" Politely?

Just say no politely but like you mean it. If you feel you need to explain, then just tell her what you told us--that she lives out of the way, sometimes you have other plans and need to go elsewhere without worrying about getting someone else home, sometimes you like to leave later.

There really is no need to explain. You have the right to make choices.

The best way is to say, "I am sorry but picking you up and dropping you off will take precious time from my schedule I do not have. I am sorry you are inconvenienced by the fact that you have no car but you will have to find another solution."

Remember, she is not your friend. She is trying to use you. Your job, if you choose to accept it is to preserve your time and your integrity and not allow yourself to be used by someone who truly has no caring about you. If she didn't need a ride, would she even call you?

Do not be afraid to say no when you know you are being used. A friendship is always a two-way street where you get something of value in return for what you give the other person. Here, all you get is a feeling of being used.

My more sarcastic side, which of course, I would never allow to come out in public, would be tempted to say, "Look, honey, get a set of knee pads and earn a ride from someone far more desperate than I am!" That side of me loves to write things like that for shock value and for a laugh, but I never allow it to be my public or private persona...except when i think someone can get a laugh...and needs one.

Try not to be concerned about how you will be viewed by declining to provide regular rides for her. You can only be responsible for you. If she had unkind thoughts towards you that is her problem not yours.

Has she offered you any sort of compensation to cover gas and in consideration of your time? Maybe that would would be a win/win situation. She gets rides and you save some money. What it comes down to is simple. This is her problem to solve and not yours. If you were not around what would she do? Would she just stop going to school? I am willing to bet that she would come up with a solution and pretty quickly. Explain that you cannot do this on a regular basis and then offer to help come up with an alternate plan.

I don't think you can do this without sounding like a b-word. I'm not saying you should feel obligated to keep picking her up and it's rude of her to keep taking advantage of you. Why don't you ask her casually if there isn't anyone closer to her who might be able to pick her up, or at least get her closer to your place? That really should give her the hint that she is putting you out. Why don't you let her know about good deals coming up for cars. Say you find out that a friend is selling a car. Would she be interested, then, jokingly you say, you wouldn't have to keep driving out to her place to get her...? Give her opportunities to deal with this on her own, you know? If you just say, I'm sorry I don't want to come get you anymore, you're going to come off as selfish. It's not deserved, but there it is.

It sounds as if you've already tried the polite, *gentle* route.

Time for the polite, *firm* route. There is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong or impolite about saying "You know, friend, I am sure I mentioned this before, but giving you rides is a hardship for me. I will no longer be able to help you out, sorry." If she persists, repeat yourself "I'm sorry, I am no longer able to help you."

She may well make you feel as if you have been rude, or a bad friend - but she is the one taking advantage, here - don't forget that.

Saying "no" is not impolite - provided you use gentle language, and remain unemotional. She sounds like a user, so probably time to stand up for yourself a bit. Good luck.

Say "Your house is farther from me than the school is. It's out of my way to pick you up. I am losing money on gas by chauffering you. I am losing valuable time as well. I'm sorry to be blunt, but I really can't afford to drive you anywhere, unless you're bleeding from an artery and need to go to the hospital."

Tell her you can't afford the gas. Then tell her how much money you want per ride. You know you're willing to do it if the price is high enough.

I don't want to.

''No! you stupid b*tch!''

or

''No! you stupid cow!''

or

''I said no! you stupid b*tch!''

or

''I said no! you stupid cow!''