Please help to correct the following sentences.?

1. The generator that broke yesterday has been shipped to Tampa already by Harry J Thompson. This sentence it fine, but I would switch where you put the word already so it flows better. It would go like this: The generator that broke yesterday has already been shipped to Tampa by Harry J. Thompson. I just realized this, but when you are saying Harry J Thompson, there needs to be a period after the J.

2. Interest by the Kettering Hospital staff in the development of a master plan for the new building wings have been expressed. This sentence is okay as well, but it doesn't flow very well. I would change it to this: Interest has been expressed by the Kettering Hospital staff in the development of a master plan for the wings of the new building.

3. However much he wants to work for Gasion engineering he will turn the job down if he has to move to another state. I would add a comma after the word engineering because the sentence is too long to not have a comma. If Gasion engineering is a title, the e in engineering needs to be capitalized. So the sentence would read like this, However much he wants to work for Gasion Engineering, he will turn the job down if he has to move to another state.

4. 35 computer scientists attended the convention, but only eleven of them were from private industry. You should add and a before the word private because a private industry is a noun.

5. While evaluating the quality of her job performance a study was made of her writing skills by her supervisor. I would add a comma after the word performance. That will help the sentence flow.

6. The reason for his early retirement are the financial incentives given by his employer. I would change the sentence to say: The reason for his early retirement was the financial incentives given by his employer. When you use the word "are", you only use it for plural words. So you have to switch "are" to "was". If you wanted you could use the word "it" but that doesn't work as well as "was".

7. No later than May 1995 the building will be finished. This makes sense, but people don't talk like that. You should change it to: The building will be finished no later than May 1995.

8. Each of the committee members complete a review of the file submitted by the applicant. Change to: Each of the committee members will complete a review of the file submitted by the applicant.

9. This sentence is perfect :)

10. Both the personnel officers and the one member of the quality team is going to attend the conference in Fargo. Change "is" to "are" because you are talking about more than one person. Also, delete the word the. So the sentence reads: Both the personnel officers and one member of the quality team are going to attend the conference in Fargo.

11. Some concerns regarding plumbing design are mentioned in our report, however, no unusual design problems are expected. Change to: Some concerns regarding the plumbing design are mentioned in our report, however no unusual design problems are expected.

12. An estimate of the total charges for an audit and for three site visits are based on our standard fee schedules. Change to: An estimate of the total audit charges for three visited sites are based on our standard fee schedules. This makes the sentence flow better.

13. Also provided is the number and type of tests to be given at the office. This is fine.

14. Calculating the standard usages by the current purchase order prices result in a downward adjustment of $.065. This sentence is fine, but the way the money is written is not. Change $.065 to $0.65

15. Arthur Jones Manager of the Atlanta branch wrote that three proposals had been accepted.

Change to Arther Jones, Manager of the Atlanta Branch, wrote that three proposals have been accepted.

Here are what I come up with: (I'm just going to fix these)

1. The generator (you don't need a comma here) that broke yesterday[,] has been shipped to Tampa already by Harry J(add a period here) Thompson.

2. This sentence seems too unclear to me.

3. However much he wants to work for Gasion engineering[;] he will turn the job down if he has to move to another state. (this is better than the way I corrected it)

6. The reason for his early retirement [is] the financial incentives given by his employer.

7. The building will be finished no later than May 1995.

9. The team completed its collaborative writing project on schedule.

Hope I helped!!!!

The correct sentences are:

1. The generator that broke yesterday has [already] been shipped to Tampa by Harry J[.] Thompson.

Explanation: Commas only need to be used when you are dividing pieces of information that require you to take a small pause (for example, from half a second to one second) before continuing to read the sentence. A comma is not needed in this sentence because the sentence makes sense without one. However, the word 'already' was in the wrong place as it made the sentence sound a little strange. I have put the word in the correct place in the sentence, so it should make more sense now. Also, there needs to be a period after initials in a name.

2. [An] interest in the development of a master plan for the new building wings [has] been expressed [by the Kettering Hospital staff].

Explanation: It's sort of similar to the first sentence if you look carefully and think about it.

3. [No matter how] much he wants to work for Gasion [E]ngineering[,] he will turn [down] the job if he has to move to another state.

Explanation: The word 'however' is used as a phrase similar to 'on the other hand', so it wouldn't make sense in this sentence. Also, 'Gasion Engineering' seems to be the name of the engineering company which means that the 'e' in 'engineering' needs to be a capital 'e'. Finally, he word 'down' was in the wrong place; the phrase is 'turn down'.

4. [Only eleven of the] 35 computer scientists [that] attended the convention were from private industry.

Explanation: It's always good to see if a sentence can be rearranged into one simple sentence, which is what I did here.

5. While evaluating the quality of her job performance[,] [her supervisor studied] her writing skills.

Explanation: Some of this sentence was worded strangely and I thought it would make sense better if it was worded like this. There isn't an easy way to explain how I arranged it, but the best thing to do is to try to rearrange the sentence until it sounds like it makes sense.

6. The financial incentives given by his employer [is] the reason for his early retirement.

Explanation: You were correct to change the word 'are' to the word 'is' and you could leave it the way you have corrected it if you want, but I think it's easier to read and understand the way I have written it.

7. You fixed this sentence correctly. Good job. :)

8. Each of the committee members review[ed] the file submitted by the applicant.

Explanation: There were too many words included that weren't necessary as they made the sentence sound more confusing. I simplified it so it was easier to read and understand.

9. The team completed their collaborative writing project on [time].

Explanation: 'on schedule' at the end of the sentence made it sound strange. Another way of saying 'on schedule' is 'on time' and that makes the sentence sound better.

10. [The one member of the quality team and both personnel officers] [are] going to attend the conference in Fargo.

Explanation: There was just something really strange about the way this sentence was worded, but I couldn't do much to correct it without changing it too much. In the end, I changed it only a little bit so that (at least to me) it sounds better.

11. Some concerns regarding plumbing design are [included] in our report, however, no [unexpected] design problems are [mentioned].

Explanation: Again, this sentence was also very strangely worded and I corrected it enough so that it made better sense and could be read and understood easier.

12. [Based on our standard fee schedules,] an estimate of the total charges for an audit and three site visits [was made].

Explanation: The reason there is a comma is the same as the other sentences with a comma. Additionally, I rearranged the sentence so that it was easier to read and understand.

13. The number and type of tests to be given at the office [is also provided].

Explanation: This sentence was sort of similar to the seventh sentence.

14. I'm sorry, but this sentence is worded in such a confusing way that I'm not sure how to fix it. :S

15. Arthur Jones[,] Manager of the Atlanta branch[,] wrote that three proposals had been accepted.

Explanation: Parts of the sentence that have 'extra information' (if this information was removed, the sentence would still make sense), then it should be separated by commas. For example, if 'Manager of the Atlanta branch' was removed from this sentence, the sentence would still make sense, so it is extra information about Arthur Jones and has to be separated from the sentence by commas.