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Should we change our daughters name?

My husband and I will be finalizing our daughters adoption in just a few weeks. We have been her primary caregivers since she was about 6 weeks old. And was given temporary custody by dfcs when she was 6 months old. She is now 14 months old. Her birth name is "made up name" "bmoms middle name" "last name" .. I have always loved the name Kaylin. Kaylin sounds very similar and is only a few letters off from her birth name (first name) ... If we choose to change her name, we would make her first name Kaylin , her middle name the sane, after her birth mom and give her our last name.. We need to make a decision today. Either keep it the same ( with the exception of changing her last name to ours) or change her first and last name!? She responds to Kaylin, as I have called her by that name to see if she responded.. and her first birth name has no meaning, bmom just made it up.. everyone I've asked for advice just says, " do it if it will make you happy" ... I have reasons to change it and yet I do feel like .. her birth name is already who she is... I'm completely torn. So my question is : have you regretted changing (or not changing) your adopted child's name?? BTW, this is considered an independent adoption, not a foster/adopt, because bmom is a distant relative by marriage to me and she asked us to adopt... (Once CPS got involved, hints why we receieved custody in the dependancy case)

13 Answers

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  • Jas
    Lv 6
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    You can add Kaylin as another middle name. Keep her name, she already knows it. Later when she's older you can choose to call her by one of her middle names or she will choose herself, that happens a lot.

    So glad you went with helping family and adopting a child in the family. Please let the Mother continue to know her child.

  • 9 years ago

    You could keep the first name as a middle name So Kaylin (name) (birthmum's name) (your last name) there nothing that says a person can only have one middle name. Middle names are rarely used and an initial can be used so if she chose she could use Kaylin N.B. (last name) I have a few kids i work with that have multiple middle names, most of the time they think they are so much "cooler" then the other kids cus they have extra name lol

  • 8 years ago

    Kaylin makes me think of Kato Kaelin, OJ Simpson's houseboy who was famous for 15 minutes back in 1994. It's also one of those trendy sounding names that sound pretty but mean nothing (in fact it sounds like a made up name, just like what you say the birthmom gave her), that seem to be popular right now. Choose a name with meaning instead, maybe keep the birth name as her middle name.

  • 8 years ago

    Once babies are 6 months, they begin to know their name. If name changes happen at all, it has to be before 6 months. 14 months is too late and too confusing.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    My mum was adopted and had all her names changed because she was a baby when she was adopted. She views her adopted family as her real family and has never tried to get in contact with her blood mother, she prefers it like that, she feels like she's more true of the adopted family. I say change first name and last name as long as the birth mum does not want to get in contact. You are still acknowledging her blood but she is yours so her name is your choice.

  • Sunny
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    Ummm, Kaylin is also a 'made up name' that doesn't seem to have much significance to you, other than your liking it.

    She's about to lose her entire family, history, etc. Why not be a bigger person and let her KEEP something?

    Source(s): Adopted adult who wishes I had my real name.
  • ?
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    No, she has a name so add Kaylin as a middle name and call her that. Her name has a special personal meaning and should be kept regardless of whether you like it or not.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Please dont change her name. I am adopted and my name was changed when i was adopted as well as my brothers. It is like the last peice of ourselves were erased. It is of course up to you but i am 15 and i wish i could go back and get my name back, one day she might feel the same.

  • 9 years ago

    If I was you I would change her name with the one that I like it most.

    Her birth name is not who she is, she will make her name "special" with her personality

  • 8 years ago

    Name her what you want. She's YOUR child. I wish we would've changed our kids' names more when we adopted them, although my son TOTALLY fits his first name!

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