My sister-in-law ruins Christmas?

As someone with Depression, I'd like to tell you that while I know you don't mean to be hurtful, you are. For some people, being happy isn't a choice. don't you think we'd be happy if we could?

I don't know your sister in law. I don't know her life. but neither, it seems, do you.

make her welcome. get her favorite type of desert, give her a smile, and wish her a merry christmas.

one of the few things worse for me than being depressed at christmas was family members yelling at me and making me feel unwelcome for something out of my control.

to my mind? let OH spend christmas with her. he's her sister. family belongs together, and if you are the one forcing the "her or me" situation, well, that's not a very nice thing to do and I wouldn't blame him for wanting to be with her. It seems like your bitter attitude will do just as much harm to the celebration as her sorrow. and how do you think OH will feel if you guilt him into staying with you and leaving his sister alone? that won't be a very merry christmas either.

you say the parents aren't around. It might be that it's been this way for a long time, I don't no. but siblings, though they don't always get along, for the most part love each other. and if it's always been just the two of them to rely on each other and love each other- well. From what you've said, it looks like they are close. she might have trust issues- i know I do, even around extended family. It could be she doesn't like to be around people much except her brother because she doesn't want to loose people- a strange way of going about it, but more common than you might think. Again, I don't know. but as someone who deals with depression, I'm stating what I think.

If you don't want her there, that's your right, but it's OH's right to go have christmas with his sister.

sorry, too long, didn't read, probably offended you, for which I'm sorry.

Advice and edit: You say she'd rather be watching films. ASK HER. invite her, but say that you've noticed she seems a bit melancholy, and that if she would like she can stay in the den/ family room and watch films, because her brother would like to see her and celebrate with her, but if she doesn't enjoy it, you won't be offended. if she says she'd like that, good. if she says she wants to stay home, fine. if she would rather do what she does every year, let it happen. it's one day. you can always go and watch a film yourself, a nice cheerful, happy christmasy one.

She may have issues. I assume that because she is spending christmas with you she has nobody else. The thought of that makes me a little sad.

Maybe you and her should have a few drinks, get her merry! Maybe she's lonely, maybe she is jealous that she doesn't have what you and your other half have.

Perhaps she's happy for you both and shows that happiness but deep down inside wonders why she can't have that same happiness.

Just a thought.

do not enable her unhappiness to electrify the day. Her unhappiness is probably not very own. Christmas time often could contain unhappy suggestions for her. get excitement from the day with everybody and in case you do get a spare mo then in line with risk have a delightful chat along with her to work out in case you could understand why she could act this way at Christmas time. She could welcome the possibility to speak approximately it. Merry Christmas!

Share a mary jane with her, maybe she might mellow out.

Only joking, not a lot you can do, she's family and if your husband wants her around well...

What is OH? Other husband? Old husband?

Maybe she is just as unhappy spending it with you as you are with her.

-STOP letting Her "get to YOU" ! She has a "Problem", & you don't need to buy into it. Just Enjoy Yourself & the Holiday & "work around Her"... -And Remember; Better HER- than YOU !! :o

Lock her in a closet