12 year old boy doesn't listen and always doing the wrong thing.?

You have described a very normal 12-year-old... about 30% of the population have a temperament that's primarily impulsive, needing freedom and finding it difficult to follow other people's rules. You shouldn't try to change him and certainly shouldn't hit a child who is following his own inner personality. None of the things you mention would be considered 'bad' in my book... so he's a bit forgetful, and does things without thinking through the consequences...? Millions of people do that all the time.

I would suggest you get hold of the book 'Please Understand Me II' by David Keirsey and read about the Artisan temperament ,which sounds as if it fits your son (from the little you say). Then give him freedom and encouragement to be himself, with gentle reminders for things that really matter.

Remember too, he's now at the age when he's probably going through puberty, or about to do so, so his hormones will be rampant and he'll be rebelling/testing boundaries as much as an two-year-old, but in more advanced ways. So your relationship with him is of primary importance, as are the boundaries/guidelines you set. If you're too harsh or restrictive, you'll basically lose his respect and he'll move out as soon as he can. If you encourage him, show him unconditional love, and walk alongside him as he begins to take on adult responsibilities, helping him when he has problems, then you'll have a friend for life.

When our daughter was that age 11-14 her anger issues were pretty bad. We discovered that the punishment for bad behavior had to be something she disliked more than whatever reward she was gaining through her misbehavior. To put it another way the punishment for bad behavior had to hated by her more than the reward or pleasure she derived from her bad behavior. In her case that turned out to be spanking. In her case spanking and having to take into account spanking as a consequence for breaking the rules controlled her behavior and gave her pause to consider her actions. And then she eventual grew out of this kind of behavior and is now a well adjusted, successful, fun adult. I got to imagine that putting a petite girl that age over your knee has to be easier than it is with a growing boy. I guess you have to figure out the best discipline technique by trial and error. Also, counseling and even medication are possibilities.

Get a belt and wear him out. Honestly, embarass him, bare his bottom and spank him. The spanking itself isn't really a big deal unless your hitting to long and to hard, the fact that his bare bottom will be exposed to you will humuilate him and make him think twice.

5 to 10 hits with the belt