Hunting down RSVP's?

Question

My daughter's 5th birthday party is in a week and a half. I can't afford a giant birthday party at a kids restaurant or bounce house venue or anything like that, and I certainly can't have 25 kindergartners in my house. So instead of inviting the whole class, I told my daughter she could invite 5 girls since she's turning 5. She's been begging me for a tea party themed birthday, and 6 little girls having tea and cakes and a few games at our house is well within the realm of what I can handle and afford. Once she picked out who she wanted to come, I addressed the invitations specifically to each of those girls. Then I gave the invites to the teacher so that she could discreetly send them home, rather than my daughter giving them out in class and the other kids feeling left out at not getting an invite. 

I sent out the invites weeks ago so as to give everyone time to put it on their calendars and let me know whether or not they could make it. I made sure to note on the invite that it was a very small party and to RSVP as soon as possible. I put my phone number (call or text), my email address, and our home address. I gave them every possible way to contact me in whichever way is convenient for them, and yet I haven't received a single RSVP. 

The problem here is that only one of the mom's drops her daughter off at school. I can follow up with her if I need to, since I see her almost every day. But the other girls either ride the bus or are dropped off for before-school daycare. I've never met the parents and I don't have any way of contacting them. 

It's awkward and I hate the idea of hounding these girl's parents, but it's such a small party that I have to know who - if anyone - is coming. What if nobody comes and I've planned this whole party? My daughter will be heartbroken. Do I send a follow up note home with the invited girls asking their parents (again) to RSVP? I don't know what else to do.

Nevaeh&#39;s Mama · Accepted Answer

Since you haven't gotten any responses at all I would first follow-up with the teacher and make sure she sent home the invites. It is possible that it slipped her mind and the girls have not received them yet. 

If she confirms that they were sent home print up a reminder that the party is in XX days and you haven't heard from them. Again reiterate that this a small gathering and while you understand if they are unable to make it letting you know by xx-date will allow you to make sure she can celebrate her 5th birthday with 5 special friends. If they don't respond I would look to invite new friends (directly with the parents this time).

You may even ask if the teacher can share phone numbers or email addresses. She may be able to or be willing to get permission from the parents to pass it on to you.

Every class that my children have been in or that I've taught has had some sort of class or school directory with contact information available. If you are willing you might plan in the future to offer to work with the teacher to coordinate something like that at the start of the year. It makes birthdays and play dates sooo much easier!

3 Monkey Momma · Answer

My first thought was to ask the teacher if she sent the invites home. Maybe she forgot! Following up with the one mom you see would be a way to find out!

Second, I have had this issue with my girls' parties...a few will RSVP and nothing from the majority and then most all will show up to the party! So just be prepared to have all of them show up! Apparently most people think RSVP means let me know if you are not going to make it.

Poodie · Answer

Kudos to you for doing this the right way. However, there should be a way for other parents to contact one another. Has the response date gone by? If so, send a follow-up note. Unfortunately, in the electronic age, people are lazy, get distracted, or just plain forget, and if they can't click "reply" on an invitation right away, then they tend to put it off. Put a new response date of this Saturday. I hope it turns out. It sounds lovely! If it doesn't, try to make it as festive as possible for her. Perhaps you should invite close family to celebrate as well.

seven · Answer

You can usually get that from the school office so Id ask them for the home numbers so you can call and follow up.  Im surprised they let you hand out invites to only a few actually.  Follow up with the mom that you see at least, to make sure she even got the invite.

Cass · Answer

I would send out an email or some form of communication reminding them of the party. :)

Anonymous · Answer

text   them

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Hunting down RSVP's?

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