What are some questions I can ask my fiancé about our wedding and what he wants?

Wow, I think you are very lucky to have a man that wants to make a big todo of your wedding. My man would just assume go to the courthouse, but I'm insisting on a wedding. However, we compromised by having it be small and somewhat simple.

1. Budget

2. Guest List

3. Formal or Casual? (This will effect the venue, apparel, food ect.)

4. Venue and Food/Time of day (Lunch? Dinner? Somewhere in between?)

5. Wedding Party (Bridesmaids and Groomsmen)

6. Decorations (this is the least important, I think, and can wait til the end to plan and buy (1-3 months ahead of time. tables centerpieces, flowers, aisle runner, archway, etc.)

Get some estimates. Be reasonable, don't go to an exclusive club to ask for rates, find some places that you might could afford. And present the estimates to your fiance. Tell him that just having a buffet with 2 entrees and 2 sides will cost $xx a person, plus the rental of the hall, plus table and chair rental, plus table cloth rental, plus decorations, plus the cake and coffee and serving plates and tableware. .

Go to a private organization like the VFW, or american Legion, or the Knights of Columbus[this list goes on and on]. These people often have banquet halls they rent out cheaper than people in the wedding business. Some have catering that they recommend, mostly you are free to hire a caterer.

I paid $40 for renting the Legion Hall for my nursing graduation. It did help to know the finance officer. Yes, of course it was Dad.

One restaurant in my area will bring the buffet to your venue with plastic serving spoons for $10. the food is in big aluminum pans with a cardboard lid. You get 2 meats, two sides and a roll for that amount. And the choices of the meat and sides is many.

You would have to provide the stands and sterno for the buffet, and drinks.

That would be $400 dollars for food, plus less than $50 for the buffet setup. Plus the price of cups and iced tea.

Compare that with a caterer, who will do the whole party, for thousands of dollars. Another snicker, someone here looked up a beach wedding, and for $5000, would provide the officiant, the ceremony, an alter, [chairs were extra] and serve lemonade before the wedding. this would be on the beach. Ridiculous.

You do not have to give favors, they are expensive, and people are so tired of them, they do not bother to take them home. One woman on the show "4 Brides" last night had a cute idea, and tied to each table locator card, was tied a little key. "the key to a heart." really cute, and cheap.

You do not have to serve appetizers, you do not have to have plated white glove service. You do not have to have a candy bar or a dessert bar. Or even a decorated cake. Just have the food you can afford, have enough of it, and see that it is hot and well prepared. One of the brides last night had a BBQ, she had 4 meat choices, and some traditional sides. the judge brides all liked it, and that one was going after her shredded pork sandwich like she was starved.

Be careful with a potluck. Guests really are not supposed to pay for going to a party, especially not a wedding reception, where they are already taking a gift. That would be a quick way to hurt feelings.

Now if your family volunteers to give you a reception, or to bring something, fine.

As a guest,Having to put up yet more money at a wedding, after you shot your budget on nice clothes to wear so as not embarrass the hosts, buying the present, and transportation costs, is asking a lot. And just in case, wishing wells and money trees, and dollar dances when that is not in your cultural heritage to have that, is considered tacky and a financial burden.

The first and most important question is: how are we going to pay for this? Find out, diplomatically, if your parents are going to kick in any money. Do a budget, and start pricing venues, food, etc.

You two really have to talk, and one of the first things is can you afford a big event and still have money left to live on after the honeymoon?