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Asianfanics story - what do you think?
I would like to know what you think of this intro:
Genre: Romance, fantasy
Title: Forbitten Love
"We are myths made up to send chills down your spine. We have risen up from the gates of hell to protect what is rightfully ours. We are no different from what you were lead to believe about us. Our hearts are still. Our skin is white as frost and cold to the touch. We feed on the innocent during the night, never to be seen in the day. Our fangs rest on our bottom lip ready to bite. "
---- Tell me what you think. Be honest, i won't take it too personal :) Correction or suggestions are welcomed :)
Thanks for reading :)
2 Answers
- 8 years agoFavorite Answer
ooh I like your title! (it's a pun right?)
"We are no different from what you were lead to believe about us." it sounds like whatever the people were thinking were actually correct. is it meant like that?
it's really interesting.
will you share your username/story? I only began reading in AFF. and I think I would subscribe to this! :)
- 8 years ago
Ooooooooh!!! sounds really mysterious! what is it about? please add in the link sometime!!
the only suggestion i would make is that the line "we are no different from what you were lead to believe about us" is a bit awkward and confusing.
its about vampires, isn't it? please post your AFF name so we can read it~ or give the link~~
