Whats the formal way to say "no gifts" for a wedding?

Strictly speaking, mentioning gifts -- even the fact that you don't want any -- on the invite is considered rude. The best way to handle this is to have your family members spread the word that you aren't expecting gifts, but would be honored by their presence as you celebrate your marriage.

I don't know if it's coming from you and your fiance, or if it's coming from outside sources, but you have GOT to get over the idea that you don't have the right to celebrate this marriage. There's nothing odd or offensive about having a wedding and a reception, and it wouldn't even be out of the ordinary to be registered for a few things.

There has only been one time I've ever heard of a second marriage/wedding people got upset about. My cousin planned a 30,000 dollar wedding, was a total bridezilla to EVERYONE, but we all showed up and gave her and her groom gifts. A month later, she moved in with another guy, lied about and divorced her first husband, planned another huge wedding (acting like a bridezilla again) and then told us that since they had everything for the house, we could contribute to the honeymoon. Our thoughts on the matter were, "Well, sure you have everything for the house, we gave it to you 6 months ago at your last wedding!" Needless to say, no one was inclined to show up for her second elaborate wedding in 6 months or pay for her to go on vacation.

What you've described is quite different. A lot of people marry when they're "young and stupid" and it doesn't work out. That doesn't mean that when they're in a mature relationship a little later in life, that one shouldn't be celebrated. In fact, that's the one that SHOULD be celebrated!

I would like to know if it is a second wedding, as in there was a divorce or other loss of spouse previously, or if you are having a ceremony and reception after having signed papers at the courthouse.

If it is a second marriage for one or both of you, I hardly think that is offensive. There is no appropriate way to say it on the invitations. However, you may put an insert in that directs people to a website where you would not have a wedding registry and on the website you could put a little note about how excited you are to gather with those you love and care for, and can't wait to see everyone that day -- what a gift their presence will be on your blessed day.

You don't. Just like it's not proper to ask for/direct where to buy gifts on an invitation, it is also not proper to tell people not to buy you gifts. You leave the subject alone. If people ask you or your family, then you/they may say, "Your presence at the wedding is the only gift we need." Most likely if your guests love you, they will bring gifts anyway. That's how people are.

There is no appropriate way to say this. You can't dictate what people give you. At any rate, people will see a ”second wedding” as a gift grab IF you are already married, not if you divorced and are getting RE married. If it's the former, don't worry. Most people won't show up, let alone give gifts.

just do not mention gifts on the invite. by putting please no gifts it draws attention to the subject.

people might start asking about a registry only to discover you have not registered. they will understand that you are not after gifts.

if anyone asks you in person what can we get you just say all we want is you with us on the day.

I went to a wedding of a guy who was getting married for the 4th time and I think they realized it was tacky not to make sure their guests knew not to bring a gift or money...so they asked that guests bring their favorite recipe to pass along to their new family and it said "your recipe will be your gift to us"

I suppose you could just simply put:

"your presence is your gift to us"

My uncle had 'your presence is present enough' or something to that effect on invitations when he married his wife.

There's no proper way to mention gifts in any way.

You don't get to tell people what to give, how to give or how much to give or to whom to give.

"In lieu of gifts, please donate to a charity of your choice." This shows that you do not want presents, and it gives the option for your guests to feel okay about not giving gifts.

Forsooth, and verily we pray thee, no gifts! Nay, nary a one! That is formal to the point of stupidity.