What is the best way to leave a mentally abusive marriage?

He's a controller and you need to run.

I would just go and stay close to family and friends for support.

If he stalks you get an order of protection against him so he knows you mean bussiness.

You cannot remain with someone when they make you scared of them and emotionally abuse you.

You need to set this up so you can get out with out any drama, which really isn't going to happen, he will chase after you. So start packing small things that you want to take, and do this over a small period of time. You need to be able to pack and get out quickly. Have some money set aside so you have the needed $ to live by, have where you are going all set up. and if necessary have a restraining order put against him. Take the day off and as soon as he leaves start packing. Remember take the important things receipts, clothes, and important papers. Don't look back, and when you have a conversation make sure it is on speaker phone, for others to hear. Some things can be replaced, but your life can't be.

Sadly when I went through a similar situation the only thing that worked was leaving behind his back and breaking complete contact. I immediately got a hold of a lawyer so I could get a restraining order if need be and went and stayed somewhere that I knew he wouldn't be able to find. Talking to him never helped. He only heard what he wanted to hear and acted surprised when I finally escaped even though I had been telling him I was so unhappy for over a year. I wish you luck. Divorce is difficult enough without having to be afraid. I am so sorry you have to go through that but know you are not alone.

If I were you I'd have a close friend or family member(s) go with you to get your things and wait in another room while you talk to him privately. That way chances are he will keep his cool. It's easy to loose yourself when your being mentally abused, it's a bad habbit to break sounds like hes not going to change. He deserves face to face closure. You don't want him showing up at your work and stalking you because he wants to have an explanation. So make sure to set up a safe place to give him the closure he needs to let you go.

I suggest you take a day off work, pack up all your belongings, and leave the house. After that, you don't even need to tell him where you're staying, but you need to get a lawyer involved so you can split the sale of your property. If he threatens you at all, go to the police, he sounds like a control freak, and you don't want to risk getting hurt.

Your plan is a good one. I'd leave too! I have a friend who recently took the day off work, hired a moving company and took all her things to a new apartment.

When someone mistreats us the way you describe your husband does you? They don't deserve "notice"!

You should get out of the relationship because it can get worse. The good thing is that you don't have children with him. You should wait until he leaves, then get your things. You do not deserve to be treated that way. Get out of that relationship fast!

Planning a safe exit from an abusive relationship is a necessary and important step before breaking the ties with your partner. The National Domestic Violence Hot line suggests following these steps to improve your chances of leaving safely.

Know the phone number to your local battered women's shelter.

Let a trusted family member, friend, coworker or neighbours know your situation. Develop a plan for when you need help; code words you can text if in trouble, a visual signal like a porch light: on equals no danger, off equals trouble.

If you are injured, go to a doctor or an emergency room and report what happened to you. Ask that they document your visit.

Keep a journal of all violent incidences, noting dates, events and threats made.

Keep any evidence of physical abuse, such as pictures.

If you need to sneak away, be prepared. Make a plan for how and where you will escape.

Back your car into the driveway, and keep it fuelled. Keep your driver's door unlocked and other doors locked for a quick escape.

Hide an extra set of car keys.

Set money aside. Ask friends or family members to hold money for you.

Pack a bag. Include an extra set of keys, IDs, car title, birth certificates, social security cards, credit cards, marriage license, clothes for yourself and your children, shoes, medications, banking information, money " anything that is important to you. Store them at a trusted friend or neighbour's house. Try to avoid using the homes of next-door neighbours, close family members and mutual friends.

Take important phone numbers of friends, relatives, doctors, schools, etc.

If time is available, also take:

Citizenship documents (such as your passport, green card, etc.)

Titles, deeds and other property information

Medical records

Insurance information

Verification of social security numbers

Welfare identification

Valued pictures, jewelry or personal possessions

Know abuser's schedule and safe times to leave.

Be careful when reaching out for help via Internet or telephone. Erase your Internet browsing history, websites visited for resources, e-mails sent to friends/family asking for help. If you called for help, dial another number immediately after in case abuser hits redial.

Create a false trail. Call motels, real estate agencies and schools in a town at least six hours away from where you plan to relocate.

After Leaving the Abusive Relationship

If you get a restraining order, and the offender is leaving:

Change your locks and phone number.

Change your work hours and route taken to work.

Change the route taken to transport children to school.

Keep a certified copy of your restraining order with you at all times.

Inform friends, neighbours and employers that you have a restraining order in effect.

Give copies of the restraining order to employers, neighbours and along with a picture of the offender.

Call law enforcement to enforce the order.

If you leave:

Consider renting a post office box or using the address of a friend for your mail. Be aware that addresses are on restraining orders and police reports. Be careful to whom you give your new address and phone number.

Change your work hours, if possible.

Alert authorities of the situation.

Reschedule appointments if the offender is aware of them.

Use different stores and frequent different social spots.

Alert neighbours, and request that they call the police if they feel you may be in danger.

Talk to trusted people about the abuse.

Install security systems if possible. Install a motion sensitive lighting system.

Tell people you work with about the situation and have your calls screened by one receptionist if possible.

Tell people who take care of your children who can pick up your children. Explain your situation to them and provide them with a copy of the restraining order.

Call the telephone company to request caller ID. Ask that your phone number be blocked so that if you call anyone, neither your partner nor anyone else will be able to get your new, unlisted phone number.

I would mentally leave the marriage.

Divorce is the only answer.