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How can I feel like a real woman if I'm not pretty?
People don't scream and run away when they see me, but no one outside my immediate family has ever told me I'm pretty or beautiful (literally, no one. The closest is the rare compliment on my hair, dress, or shoes (they're pretty, not me)).
From my perspective, the highest compliment a female member of American society can receive is to be told that she is beautiful. (ex. if a man says he has a "beautiful" wife, that's a tall compliment even if she's not actually very pretty. If he says he has a smart, hardworking, loving, etc. wife, people assume that she isn't pretty, since that would be at least part of his best description of her if she were the slightest bit attractive.) I could try wearing makeup, dressing up more, etc, but that's mostly fake and time-consuming.
How can I flip my perspective and feel like a real woman, feel comfortable with my femininity, without longing to be told I'm beautiful? All the stuff about achievement is kinda masculine - I can of course have a job and "contribute to society" but that helps me be a person, not a woman. Help!
4 Answers
- tellitlikeitisLv 78 years agoFavorite Answer
Just because other people can't or won't tell you that you are pretty, does not necessarily mean that you are not.
Whilst it isn't ever great to obsess about your looks, there is nothing wrong with taking a look in a mirror and reassuring yourself that you are pretty. We can't all be raving beauties but we can increase our self esteem by 'talking ourselves up'. Doing that on a regular basis will actually make you believe in yourself. And eventually along will come someone to whom you really are the most attractive person on earth. Probably not because you are, but because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and a wonderful smile and twinkling eyes, coupled with good grooming and confidence can present a very pretty picture indeed.
- 8 years ago
Today's most attractive type of woman is one that has things going for herself, intelligence, a big heart, & beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some people may not think you're the best looking person. Others might think you're the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. When a guy says that his wife's hardworking, loving, etc. It doesn't mean she's not beautiful. It just means that he focuses more on her personality & her qualities more than her outer appearance which he appreciates, but doesn't count more than her looks. Looks aren't everything. & You do have some people, even if they are family, that thinks you're pretty. How you dress, confidence, & your grooming/hygiene plays a huge part in how attractive you are. If people tell you you have a really nice smile, beautiful skin, pretty eyes, etc. It does mean you're pretty! Everyone has flaws & everyone has beautiful features. Work to improve or accept your flaws & flaunt what you can. You are a woman. Work to contribute toward society & love yourself.
- truth sleuthLv 78 years ago
There is someone for everyone...get out there more to get compliments...and link to a picture on here.
- Anonymous8 years ago
Let us decide... show us a photo.
