How Can We Get A Grip On This Situation?

Legally I don't think there's anything you can do. If you can prove harassment then you might be able to get a court order. But to be harassment it must be extreme, and it's hard to prove.

The mother has some very serious and very deep emotional problems. You can't fix her. So the only thing you can do is deal with her. There are ways to HANDLE a person like this. I suspect you already know some ways to do that.

The most important thing is to remain calm. If you get upset or angry, then she's going to immediately over react. The natural thing to do is to get angry at her. But that will never get you what you want. You need to fight the impulse to be angry, even when she's angry or when she does abusive things to you.

There are some self help books and web sites that can help you with this. Check out a book called "stop walking on egg shells", and I think there are now web sites and videos to go along with the book.

Don't mistake my book recommendation for a diagnosis. I have no way of knowing what kind of mental disorder this women has. But, even though the book is written specifically for borderline personality disorder, many of the techniques can be applied to almost any situation.

Good luck. You need it.

Since your son has full physical custody of the children then the only person she should be calling about the children is him...All the court order requirements are between your son and her..

So you have no legal obligation to even speak with her at anytime if you do not wish to do so...

Simply tell her to stop calling you and call the father...

If she continues then take your cell phone with all the texts and incoming calls list to the police department and file a criminal complaint against her for Harassment, then file a petition with the court for a restraining order which means she can have no contact at all with you nor can she come within a certain distance of you (usually 250 feet). If she violates the restraining order she goes to jail...

a million/2 of my coronary heart has been ripped out via my son and the different a million/2 is a broken and bleeding. I have not have been given any grip on the situation and little or no carry on the final shard of my sanity

Block her number on your cell phone. She should be calling the children's father instead of you.

Ummm, you DO know phones can be shut off, right? No child needs Nyquil either.

Stop answering her texts and calls unless they are received during specific hours. Let her know in advance that that is what you intend to do, then do it.

Turn the phone off when you don't wish to be bothered.

turn the phone off.