What causes "nice guys" who suffer from nice guy syndrome to think they are actually nice?

I used to think I was a nice guy because I was helpful, mild mannered and hard-working.

I later learned that my introversion made me appear creepy and unfriendly, so that my efforts and work were always overshadowed by some awkward cloud that made others uncomfortable.

It wasn't until I learned the tao of shamelessness that I realized fake smiles and a loud voice to mimic extroversion, coupled with some blatant selfishness to display that I actually have some sort of ambitious character, will do far more towards making me appear nice and approachable than merely doing good deeds, sympathizing with others' confusion or pain and/or "not doing mean things."

There are a lot of nice guys in the woodwork, but most don't complain. A lot of jerks claim the "nice guy" act to lure people in. I have a motto that I coined: "Every @sshole thinks they're a victim." Nothing jerks say or do can be construed as unjustified or mean in their minds. Male or female. You should pity such people because they are extremely insecure and put their egos first.

Because the girls they are trying to get tell them so. Nice guy syndrome is when the guy who the girl runs to to complain and cry when her boyfriend(s) break up with her gets mad that she contradicts her words with her actions. Over and over and over. And she says "why are you single? more guys should be like you!" That is what they say. But then if that guy asks the girl out she says "I'm not looking to be in a relationship right now." or "oh but I don't want to ruin our wonderful friendship!".

Everything the nice guy believes about himself, especially the part that he's a "nice guy" and usually "SUCH a good listener" is because the woman who friendzones him TELLS him these things. This isn't some personal delusion. These are manufactured delusions. She manipulated him to keep him around as her emotional dumpster, uses flattery to get him to feel good about himself around her, and then when he thinks he's good enough to be with her it's sort of a natural way of calling her bluff. She doesn't really think he's that nice, and she doesn't really like him very much. She just finds him convenient, so that's the point where she has to reveal that she doesn't actually think much of him.

The "nice guy" then goes through stages.

1: Nice guy gets very confused and complains online that his goddess only wants to date bad boys.

2. Nice guy realizes that goddess didn't really like him that much to begin with and concludes that women are irrational and don't like the traits that they glorify. So he goes and complains on the internet some more.

3. Nice guy realizes that he's not actually a nice guy but was just being played with flattery and the woman was actually being rational and consistent, just evil.

4. Nice guy concludes that all women (that he's attracted to) are inherently evil and lets the hate flow through him and joins the Sith (MGTOW)

No rap sheet at the local cop shop is the main criteria in this day and age.

jens thank you for covering that. I couldn't agree with you more. Women using nice guys all the time. Look a little closer ladies. Nothing is wrong with dating friends. for a man to have to personally distance his friendship in order to date a girl just seems dishonest to me, and not my personality. But i have had to do that to get ladies to fold their cards and call their bluff. just cough up lady good god.

All people are capable of being nice when they are happy and getting what they want. All people are capable of mean when they are angry and upset. There really are no good people in white hats and bad people in black hats. People have flaws and virtues. All of them do.

Most of them are just delusional, as most guys that claim they're "nice" aren't really nice at all. They also tend to have self-entitlement issues and the whining tends to be very incessant.

As to why they think they're nice, that could vary. Narcissistic Personality Disorder could be one reason.

Nice guys are a type of man who derives self esteem from female attention/approval.Growing up all his life hearing that this is how men are "supposed" to court females he gets frustrated when other people don't respect him for selflessly putting others before himself.The "nice guy" is pathetic,he isn't some sexual deviant as you feminists like to claim he is.

The nice guy uses the same approach that females use to court men,which is why subconsciously all women "hate" the nice guy,he is the antithesis of masculinity.You constructed a threat narrative of which bad intent is assumed of all men(and in this case that of a pathetic harmless whiteknight),you're more patriarical then i thought.

It's weird because I know those guys and they turn out not to be nice. Not all of them ofc. I think it is envy of ''that ****** over there''.

They were taught growing up that being nice to other people is something they should always expect a reward for.