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My 3 1/2 year old son is fearful of strangers. Will this pass?

He has not had any trauma here at home and I know some children are very shy and fearful of strangers, but this just seems unusual to me. My son has always been fearful of strangers, to the point where he will clinch at my clothes if someone comes near, and he will scream bloody murder if they even say hello to him. He is only comfortable with one other child that my oldest is friends with (a girl who is 8), and my parents. Anyone else, forget it. He will not even give them a chance. Not even here in his own home.

Even when we take him to the park, he is not comfortable playing with the other children. Only his brother. If another child approaches him and wants to play, he will make a beeline in the other direction.

Will this pass? I sure hope so because he will start kindergarten in 2014. I don't know what to do to get him to not be so shy or fearful of others. His brother was the total opposite when he was this age.

Any tips? Advice?

Thank you so much.

4 Answers

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  • Al B
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I like the other answer here but I might suggest that in his mind there is no reason to let go of his security, you, but perhaps if there is something he wants bad enough he may let go a bit and then develop more confidence and not be as afraid, a carrot and stick approach. If he is interested in dogs, for example, he may able to join another kid playing with a dog - the only example I can think of at the moment. You might also try starfall, the parent's section, and he will get some help getting ready for kindergarten and perhaps build up some confidence by being able to do some of the drills there and having that confidence feel more comfortable dealing with others.

  • 8 years ago

    Up to the time I was six, I hardly ever played with kids I didn't know. My cousin clung to her dad's leg and spoke to no one but family members (close ones at that) till she was four, my other cousin was scared of anyone with glasses up until he was 3. Children have a right to have personalities too and not every one is supposed to be a people person. Yet if you really think that this might be an issue, try to set up a play date with a kid that he has seen a few times but is not very close too (a cousin or neighbour maybe) don't make it seem like a big deal. sit there and play with them at 1st, then remove yourself from the situation slow by slow (move to the couch, to the doorway, to another room for a few minutes) see how he deals with that and then slowly broaden the circle. Taking him to kindergarten (being there with him for the 1st few days and then again slowly moving away may be a good idea) too. He might be experiencing some form of separation anxiety so try to shift the focus from the situation to some form of activity that he enjoys.

  • 5 years ago

    tell your son that he ought to hearken to you because of the fact you're his mommy. clarify to him that each and each time he does no longer hear, there'll be effects. i could make a timeout chair in a corner or purely some place the place you will see him. he will ought to take a seat down there for 3.5 minutes (one minute consistent with 300 and sixty 5 days). be sure you clarify to him the belief of timeout, and if he screams and cries once you placed him there (which he will do in the previous each and every thing) tell him that that's his option to the two hear to you and no timeout, or do no longer hear and a timeout. while he tries to upward push up, the time will initiate yet back. And while he has effectively taken the timeout, ask him why he have been given it and what he can do next time so he won't ought to have yet another one. provide him a hug afterwards, verify he says he's sorry, and allow him pass play. i desire this facilitates! terrific of success! -Elle

  • 8 years ago

    This is a good thing.

    Your son is fearful and that's good. As he ages and sees more and more strangers the reaction will become less intense but will still be there.

    We have taught our daughter that strangers are just people and don't want to be scary, that you can talk to them, but never go with them.

    TAlking to strangers is a skill that is taught and learned, but slowly as they age.

    Source(s): parent
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