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Has the King James Bible saved you like it saved me?
So last weekend, as usual, I went out looking for drunken fornicating sinners to rebuke. Anyway, at about 2:30-3 a.m., this drunken lez who was wearing what was clearly a man's shirt, in open defiance of Deuteronomy 22:5, told me there was a party going on at hers, and I thought it sounded like a good opportunity to spread the word to some degenerates. Sure enough, it was a complete nest of vice, as proven by the fact that one room contained a bunch of people doing coke off a mirror, although no one offered me any. I sat down on a sofa and soon enough a skinny black-clad homosexual with a trendy haircut and hipster glasses gave me a glass of absinthe and started trying to persuade me to fornicate with him. Obviously, as anyone would do, I told him that I absolutely couldn't because the Bible forbids me to do gay stuff, to which he responded that Christianity was just a bunch of made-up fairytales that didn't make sense. I challenged this atheist pervert to give me an example of how the Bible didn't make any sense, and he asked me how God and Jesus could be the same person, despite being different people. Naturally, I whipped out my Bible and pointed to 1 John 5:7 (For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one.) At this point, he accepted that I was right and Christianity was correct, and therefore we agreed that it would be morally wrong for him to sodomise me. Another soul saved for Christ.
Has this ever happened to anyone else? Was I lucky or what!
11 Answers
- VincentLv 58 years agoFavorite Answer
Yes indeed. One day the Jack Daniels was on a way high shelf and the King James Bible was just fat enough for me to step on it and bring Jack down.
- 4 years ago
The "errors" you cite on your letter appropriate to the unique King James version have been typographical no longer having any concern to do with content textile.The printing press became new then and particular typesetters did misspell phrases. This became for this reason corrected. get your info right this moment... The Apocrypha books weren't seen to be divinely stimulated so have been in no way blanketed. i've got study them and that i agree. Christians who've fairly researched "different variations" can't help yet come to the tip that the King James version is the main genuine and stable version.Now there's a"new kjv bible NKJV out" that's a wolf in sheep's outfits, i do no longer believe it. I stick to the 1611 Kjv.i could inspire all of us to in my opinion learn diverse bibles to work out for themselves why we must be very discerning on which version we elect.once you spot the adjustments you would be as bowled over as i became. the internet has many stable web pages that may assist you on your adventure. might your eyes be opened too;
- 8 years ago
If I were you I wouldn't try to get in without heels. Oh before I forget it for future reference look under totally don't give a rat's behind. That reminds me I did an experiment last night with two twenty year old females. I told them when I was taking a picture of our friend Gabby sitting on Ronald McDonalds lap in Kingsville I suggested she flop out one of her boobs.
Crickets
Now if I had said that around her bf and my son in law they would want to know if she had done it but the women didn't give a crap one way or the other. "She just turned 18 so it was legal." "You have to start them young." Then we stopped talking about her then we started talking about our other friend's mother who is supposedly a MILF according to her daughter. I have my daughter saying it on video was the wierdest thing to come out of her friend's mouth. She's gay or bi not sure but hilarious. She tells good stories and I asked her where all she has been and she told me she has been to Hawaii and Japan and Korea. I told her I was in Thailand so anyway yeah, she says I smell like Old Man. Isn't that nasty? Please don't get me started on nasty honey
- Anonymous8 years ago
The ward nurse is looking for you since you wandered off the floor. Get back ASAP and take your meds
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- ?Lv 78 years ago
In a way,.... studying it led me away from Christianity as I realized it couldn't be true.
