how do I stop obsessing over the other woman?

he chose you over her, so i would not give up on 8 years and let someone else have him. we all compare ourselves with the other woman, we all wonder what has she got that we do not. but in reality she has nothing, she just knew how to stroke his ego, and make him feel special. its normal to want to look at the other woman i know i still sometimes wonder what she had that i didn't, even after nearly 10 yrs. truth is she doesn't have anything you don't have and he did not choose her. ignore the home wrecker, what she hopes, is that you will get upset, walk out on him, so she can have him all to herself.

You need to postpone the wedding until this issue is resolved. You don't need to be getting into a marriage with an individual who you don't have a good relationship with. No one cheats when the relationship is good. He is having an emotional affair because you aren't filling some need of his emotionally. So if you guys don't find out what is missing from your relationship, your marriage will fail very quickly and this issue will come up again.

Also he needs to take care of business with this woman and let her know that contacting him or you is not acceptable. He can even go as far to say if there is any more contact he will contact the police.

I think you have to understand your part in this. Don't put the cheating all on him. Of course cheating was his choice and he has to accept responsibility for that but you BOTH contributed to the situation that led to the relationship not being fulfilling for either one or both of you. You have to accept that you share responsibility in that. If you don't cheating is just going to keep occurring because you aren't maintaining awareness of your partners needs and happiness in the relationship.

Fix your relationship. That is how you get over it.

When your relationship is repaired and you realize it's stronger than any relationship he ever had with her... you don't give her a second thought.

-Connor

Don't worry about what he says. He is just shallow. Not all guys care too much about looks. Don't worry about the size you wear, it seems you are only doing it to please him. I don't know why. He is probably the the only guy who has those specific (yet pathetic) standards. And you are NOT too tall. I am 5' 6" and still plan on growing about an inch. I like my height, and I am only thirteen. Also, don't worry about implants. To be honest, they could actually be dangerous, if you think about it. Depending on the size, you could end up with back problems, and I think it could be fatal if the implants got broken. Please consider my advice. You are beautiful the way you are, just as everyone is:) Find someone else who loves you for you, and don't worry about what your old boyfriend thinks. He is a thing of the past and he just puts a burden on your shoulders and makes you feel uncomfortable with yourself. That isn't a very good guy. Respect yourself the way you are. But with whatever choice you do end up making, I wish you luck! -Muddy Pig P.S. When you look at those girls, just think that maybe they are jealous of YOU. It is very possible... :)

Nobody can tell you how in a short answer. It's an 'organic' process that may vary from individual to individual.

More importantly "I can't trust him" tells me that, as it stands, your relationship is doomed. 99.99% of all relationships without trust are. If he apologies sufficiently, and you believe him (thus regaining trust) you have a chance. But if you actually meant what you said, you must end the relationship before you get worse. Perhaps rather than a full split, maybe cool things a little. No sex. Take some time to think what *you* want for *you*.

First thing , don't be so hard on yourself. It is natural as she invaded your mind by spamming you with details. Remember that the space you allow her to rent in your head, it's letting her win. You will just become a bitter insecure doubting jealous woman and that is very unattractive even if u are prettier than her.dont over think abt her. It was your guy's weakness and stupidity. Nothing to do with you at all. If you still are obsessing, become aware of it.. Then say okay, only 5 min of thinking abt her,,, think,agonize,hate... Everything in that 5 or 10 min and after timer rings, go abt doing something more worthwhile.lastly, if I were you, I'd postpone the wedding venue hunt until things sort out between you two and in your head too. Best wishes.

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Marriage, like life, is a cycle of ups and downs. It's easy to say your marriage is in good health when the world around you is prospering, but when your fortunes turn and your world is in hardship, how you interact within your marriage can often paint an altogether different picture.

I think your partner is totally sorry for cheating on you. Let's give him another chance. About that girl, she only want to do anything to make you upset. Dont care about her. She is a ***** who is not worthy being mentioned. Just relax and take it easy.

Try giving him a second chance and keep on emailing the girl he cheated on u with so u can see if he still is Cheating on u while giving him a second chance

You just find someone else.