Don't know what to say to my mom when she says "I love you,"?

I guess it takes one to know one. Waaaa

Feeling obligated to say it back is very different to wanting to - as someone with father issues, I know how awkward it is when someone who has made your life more than difficult tries to forget all about it and get your forgiveness just so they feel better about themselves.

You don't owe her anything - she took care of you, but she's your MOTHER. That's kind of a given. If she didn't put you first, especially when you were young, then she can't expect an "I love you" to make it all better. Also, you shouldn't feel like you have to thank her for changing your diaper, like it was a favor or something - she decided to take on the responsibility of children and she was unprepared to provide sufficient care for you. That's not love, that's selfishness.

That said, it sounds to me as though she feels guilty for what she's put you through and perhaps you'll find a way to forgive her someday, but I get the vibe that that won't be happening any time soon... if you haven't already, perhaps telling her how angry you are with what she did will help her understand why you aren't so quick to say you love her back. If she realizes the impact her maltreatment has had on you, hopefully she will try to earn your forgiveness over time and this may improve your relationship with your mother. Don't torture her if she really is sorry though - everyone deserves a second chance and I've personally found that some parents just aren't cut out for the caring part, but can become good friends as you get older.

Just remember that it's not your fault who you're related to and try to learn from the example she's set for you: how not to be a parent. Good luck.

Damn, I'm sorry about your situation. Maybe try telling her how you really feel about her. Tell her how she could possibly love you if she's done a lot of things that have made you upset. I'm probably not the best person to ask about these kind of things, but I truly do hope things turn out okay mate.

Just simply smile or say i like u to mom. Your not oblagated to love a woman who does not deserve it. She has to earn your love & she may never do that but u are not under any oblagation to say i love u back, simply smile if that makes you feel better, i think with all you said she'll understand why you feel like you do.

you know she is still your mom

i know how you feel but just try to talk nicely to her about your feelings towards her

she can get hur but she will also understand you

be patient or if next time she tell you "i love you" tell her "i don't love you" by smiling

I think you should discuss your problems with her. It can change her. It will hurt her for a while but is the best for her.

there is no law that says you have to love your parents

but

you need to respect her

try some counseling so that these things you feel (or don't feel) destroy you

peace

You should say her that you neither hate nor love her.