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Why am I like this when my parents didn't raise me this way?
When I was younger I was racist, homophobic and sexist because of what I saw on tv, heard on the internet, etc. I was into rap, then I went through a phase of wanting to be a soldier, then I went through a patriotic phase. I never followed in my parents footsteps. I'm no longer racist, homophobic or sexist. Most people act the way they do because of their parents, I was completely on my own. My question is: is that proof that I never had a good relationship with my parents? Like I was the only kid that LITERALLY and TRULY did not care of what anyone including my parents thought of me or how I acted. Will this make me a bad father in life knowing I couldn't develop a proper relationship with my parents, meaning I'll most likely be a distant father?
3 Answers
- DibbieLv 48 years agoFavorite Answer
No.
Children learn by what they see and hear, regardless of who it is from.
You could have been raised by your uncles and aunts, and if they have a tendency to play Bingo every hour, you may develop this habit with no one giving you any guidance, and grow up, until you learn; if you learn, to play (or not to play) Bingo every hour of your day.
Now, alot of children have distant relationships with their parents, and learn mostly everything from their friends and personal experience, which they learn from TV, and their friends, which goes down the line to eventually someone learning this from their parents who the process then continues.
Because you had a distant relationship with your parents does not mean you are going to be a "bad father", it just means that it may be harder for you to be able to teach your child certain things that you may have never learned as a child, that is, if your child is not too, distant from his/her parents.
Every moment in life is a opportunity to learn from your mistakes, if you feel being distant from your parents as a child changed how you would be now if you wernt, maybe you should try to make sure your child is a little more closer to you and the wife (not forceful ofcourse).
I hope I was able to help you.
- Angela ParkerLv 68 years ago
No that does not mean you will be a bad father. You have seen for a while now that racism and the rest is wrong. In the contrary, it will make you a better parent to know that you will do what you think is right, not what everyone else is doing.
My parents are older (70s) and have always been racist, I on the other hand am not. It may be due to the fact that those negative behaviors are more widely in the open now a days, I have seen first hand what other people feel what those things happen to them. As you probably have also. I have seen how my Gay friend felt while he was being literally terrorized for being gay.
I hope this helps and good luck!
