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How to arrange custody after my child is born?
So I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant and I have recently decided that I want to file for child support since the father of my baby and I are no longer together and he has not really been involved in my pregnancy. Before I go any further I would like to make it clear that I am in no way trying to be spiteful and purposely trying to make things harder for him, I tried arranging a way where he could give me money for the baby and avoid doing things this way but he kinda pushed my hand. This is the last thing I wanted for us but I don't have any other options. My only concern now is how do I go about getting custodial parental rights in the state of CT without having to include him in the decisions I make for our daughter? I don't want to take away his parental rights but I want something set in stone to prevent HIM from doing things out of spite since I do know him well enough to have reason to believe that he would, like take her for a weekend and not bring her back! Please help!
Very well aware of all that, I definitely do not want to keep him from seeing his child because I want to give him the opportunity to be a good dad. The only thing I forgot to mention (since it limited the number of characters... idk why) was that I am 19 years old college sophomore and he is a 22 year old who has a list of offenses and has been in and out of jail since he was 14 years old (I know, I sure can pick them -__-) He also has to go to probation for 5 years and he attends a drug group, not really sure what it's called, for people who abuse substances and his choice of drug is marijuana. He also is a big drinker as well. This is why I don't want him involved in decision making since as you can see, he's not the best decision maker his damn self.
And I am not a perfect person either and I haven't made some great decisions in the past but I am trying to put things in place so that for the future, my daughter won't be affected in any way negatively, whereas he has not put in a lick of effort to change his ways and grow up so he can set a good example for our daughter.
1 Answer
- shutuppaufaceLv 78 years agoFavorite Answer
Don't be apologetic, even under the most amicable of circumstances, support and visitation orders should be in place, they are for the child's protection, not spite.
Contact Family Court in your town and ask them how to get the ball rolling.
However, no judge anywhere will permit you to not include him in the decisions made for HIS daughter, so forget about that; it's not going to happen.
Period.
You had a baby with this man, now you have to accept that he gets say in 100% of what affects the child. If he runs off with the kid, have him charged with custodial interference, but unless you have *actual* proof it is necessary, the courts will not fetter him from seeing her at his appointed days and times, and you cannot request supervised visitation.
Also, be aware if *you* try to screw around and keep the child from him, you would likely lose custody. A child has the right to have access to BOTH parents.
EDIT:
You need to let go of your desire to control him and his behavior. It is not up to you to "give him the opportunity to be a good dad", his having a daughter entitles him to that. Stop placing mental restrictions on him before the kid is even born, he is an adult with free will and soon, a daughter.
HIS daughter, you need to keep reminding yourself of that. You picked him, you can't unring that bell.
Since he's over 21, drinking is legal, but you might be able to ask the courts to force him to take random drug tests, but chances are that is already a condition of his probation.
You're 19, and your decision-making abilities are severely lacking. Unless your parents will be footing your bills and baby-sitting when you're in class, you won't be in college much longer.
And buy a box of condoms so you aren't posting the same thing after you break up with your next boyfriend.