if I die who gets my child?

Usually, the surviving parent does. If that person has been deported and cannot reenter the U.S., then your son will probably have to go live in that person's country until your son is 18. Also, even if the person is not currently allowed into the U.S., the person may be allowed to enter the U.S. temporarily to attend court proceedings related to your child.

In some cases, he might even get custody while you are alive.

In actual cases:

a. A woman died while trying to bring her son from Cuba to the U.S. His relatives in Miami had him for a little while. Over the objections of his relatives in the U.S., and most of the rest of the Cuban-American community, he was sent back to his father in Cuba.

b. A parent was deported and could not enter the U.S. Even though the parent in the U.S. was still alive, the judge still gave the child to the parent outside the U.S., because that parent had been deported and could not enter the U.S. The judge said that a child should live where both parents can see the child, and that meant that the child of a parent who can't enter the U.S. shouldn't live in the U.S., and should live in a foreign country, so that both parents could see the child (for reasons that are not important to your question, the parent living in the U.S. was able to visit the foreign country to see the child).

Even if you file for custody, that may not be enough. You probably need to get his parental rights terminated, or have your siblings or mother adopt your son.

Yes your ex can get custody of your son. His rights as the father supersede your wishes even if you had a custody order. If you name another person as guardian of your son the father can fight it in court and the court would have to decide what is the best interest of the child.

Why don't you ensure that your ex will never get custody, by making out a deposition, giving custody of your son to one of your siblings, in the event of your death.

if you do not have it in your will for anywhere the closest living relative gets custody of your child and assets , and your son would be deported to his father . its pretty simple to avoid this just go get a will and stuff from the city hall or what ever

If you're worried, make a will to establish a person you would want to be your son's legal guardian in the event this happens.

you need to get a lawyer- have a court give you full custody of the child- then give guardianship to whoever in your will

he is still the biological father of your child. he would have rights to the child before anyone else would.

he would need to go to court and give up his parental rights before anyone else could take him.