Don't authoritarian systems remove our capability to govern our own selves in our own homes?

Yes

yes weather it be the government , press or local society an agency whatever they are all doing the same thing and justifying it pointing there finger at others and then not liking when its done to them

To what end? You don't have the right, for example, to abuse and hurt others in your household.

Anything else you want to do, should be permissible and not subject to Government intervention.