Christian help? Divorce and remarriage?

It sounds like you are trying to save yourselves through good works. There is no way to save yourself - the things we do are in response to the joy we feel at having been saved. The only way to be apart from God eternally is to reject the payment Jesus made on behalf of your sin.

The scenario you are describing is called adultery. It is a sin. One should not be engaging even in a platonic relationship with someone else while married. There are very few grounds for remarriage after divorce. I can think of only two: the other spouse committed adultery, or the other spouse was an unbeliever and abandoned the spouse who seeks to remarry. God forgives all sins through Jesus' sacrifice. However, deliberately sinning means lacking a repentant attitude, and repentance is a requirement. We all continue to sin, but this has to be a rather well planned sin, since you can't just do it once; it is an ongoing situation. The best statement on adultery is in Jesus' sermon on the mount. He said that if a man even looks at a woman and lusts after her, he has committed adultery in his heart. The requirements are strict and exacting. Divorce is a legal act. It has no bearing on the emotions, or on the bonding in marriage. All it resolves is strictly the legal issues. It also causes any children to become subject to the jurisdiction of the court. This is dangerous for children. People suffer when the emotional bond is torn asunder. God never intended divorce, and He said that no person should disrupt what He has joined. The bonding is built in. It happens, regardless of how much a person might wish it otherwise. I have seen the damage divorce causes in my own family. Divorce also tears apart the relationships of other members of the family. The other spouse is an in-law, and if you love your in-laws as you should, it will be a bitter pill. Marriage isn't easy. It's not intended to be. But the rewards from staying married and working on it are incalculable. I know. I have been married for 42 years. Marriage is a symbol of the relationship between Christ and the church. We wouldn't want Christ to divorce us. We should do unto others as we wish done to us. When we get a divorce or commit adultery, we are misrepresenting the relationship between Christ and the church to the world. So we not only disobey God with divorce, but we mislead others. This is wrong, too. We are all sinners. So we have no right to demand perfection in our spouses. They're not going to get perfection from us. We are commanded to forgive one another. Christ gave Himself for His bride. We are called to practice self-sacrificing love in marriage. We are to cherish each other. This is a decision, not an emotion. In Greek, the type of love expected of us is "agape". Read I Corinthians 13 to learn about this type of love.

Divorce is tough. Been there; done that - twice.

We are supposed to try to stay together, but, what if we can't? Then, we divorce. It is a natural part of human life, even though it sucks. God knows us! He knows how difficult these times are for people, and I can't imagine being forever condemned for a divorce.

When I went to Seminary, about 1/4 the people on my program separated, or divorced. Most found that our spouses just could not keep up with the changes we were making in our own lives. None of us was happy about it, but, it happened, and we carried on as best as anyone could do.

I do not believe we should take marriage, nor divorce, lightly. However, I also do not think we are necessarily condemned for doing so either. It will depend on the circumstances. If you gave it an honest go, and failed, well, that's just how life is sometimes. God knows this.

Whether it comforts or not it is what Scripture say matters.

God hates divorce. Malachi 2

16 “For the Lord God of Israel says

That He hates divorce,

For it covers one’s garment with violence,”

Says the Lord of hosts.

“Therefore take heed to your spirit,

That you do not deal treacherously.”

God clearly explains His reasons for esteeming marriage so highly. He says it was He who "made them one" (Malachi 2:15). Marriage was God's idea. If He designed it, then He gets to define it. Any deviation from His design is abhorrent to Him. Marriage is not a contract; it is a covenant. Divorce destroys the whole concept of covenant that is so important to God.

The Bible gives two clear grounds for divorce: (1) sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32; 19:9) and (2) abandonment by an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:15). Even in these two instances, though, divorce is not required or even encouraged. The most that can be said is that sexual immorality and abandonment are grounds (an allowance) for divorce. Confession, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration are always the first steps. Divorce should only be viewed as a last resort.

If her husband has not begot adultery she sins by divorcing. If she remarry she her self will live the rest of her life in adultery. If she is a true Christian God will chasten her. If not she may have a good life here, and hell for eternity. Circumstances never dictates what Scripture say. Better have a bad life here and go to heaven, then opposite.

Salvation is not about self-fulfillment, it is about self-denial. It is not about self-love, it is about self-hate. It is not about self-esteem, it is about self-disdain. It is the rejection of who you are. It is hating yourself and loving God. Do you love your self more then God? Then go on breaking His word. You are not willing to die for him, if you are not willing to live out your life in a bad marriage.

MIMI

Marriage is for life except in the case of adultery. If her husband has not been unfaithful to her she has no right to be with anybody else. That is tough, but that is why we have to be sure of a man's character before we vow "for better, for worse" . If reconciliation with the estranged spouse is not possible a conscientious Christian will have to stay single.

For those that remarry in ignorance of what Scripture teaches on this subject there is forgiveness, but it would be a very dangerous thing to presume on God's forgiveness if we deliberately do what He has forbidden.

First off, don't put "Christian answers only please" ... that'll put a target on your back.

Now, as far as the divorce issue, I follow the same belief as I do with marriage. Marriage is a secular institution that was co-opted by the Church during the dark ages, and has nothing to do with religion. Furthermore, there are plenty of adulterers who are in church every time the door opens, so I believe in a forgiving God.

You don't go to Hell for divorce....

1 Timothy 5:8

King James Version (KJV)

8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

God's grace is sufficient and he loves you ...get close to God

In heaven there is no marriage or giving in marriage for we will be as the angels;

To put you at ease with the common believe of hell...please read the below information.

The Lie That Made God Cruel

WHAT MANY BELIEVE “Immediately after death the souls of those who die in a state of mortal sin descend into hell, where they suffer the punishments of hell, ‘eternal fire.’” (Catechism of the Catholic Church) Some religious leaders say that hell is a state of complete isolation and separation from God.

THE TRUTH FROM THE BIBLE “The soul that is sinning—it itself will die.” (Ezekiel 18:4) The dead “are conscious of nothing at all.” (Ecclesiastes 9:5) If the soul dies and is unconscious, how could it suffer “eternal fire” or even the pain of everlasting separation from God?

In the Bible, the Hebrew and Greek words often translated “hell” actually refer to the common grave of mankind. For example, when Job suffered a painful illness, he prayed: “I wish you would hide me in my grave [“in hell,” Douay-Rheims Version].” (Job 14:13, Holy Bible—Easy-to-Read Version) Job wanted to rest, not in a place of torment or alienation from God, but in the grave.

WHY IT MATTERS Cruelty does not endear us to God; it repels us. “From infancy I was taught the doctrine of hellfire,” says Rocío, who lives in Mexico. “I was so terrified that I could not imagine that God had any good qualities. I thought that he was angry and intolerant.”

The Bible’s clear statements about God’s judgments and the condition of the dead changed the way Rocío viewed God. “I felt free—that a big emotional burden had been lifted off me,” she says. “I began to trust that God wants the best for us, that he loves us, and that I can love him. He is like a father who takes his children by the hand and wants the best for them.”—Isaiah 41:13.

Many have striven to be pious out of fear of hellfire, but God does not want you to serve him because you are terrified of him. Rather, Jesus said: “You must love Jehovah your God.” (Mark 12:29, 30) Moreover, when we realize that God does not act unjustly today, we can trust his future judgments too. Like Job’s friend Elihu, we can confidently say: “Far be it from the true God to act wickedly, and the Almighty to act unjustly.”—Job 34:10.

Our website has many good articles that provide help for marriages.

Relax you can't go to hell for any reason ,,simply because it does not exist as a place. However , you are creating a living hell for yourself by worrying about all this silly religious nonsense. Religion is supposed to serve man not make him miserable.

here's a thought. ...say you fall in love with and marry a good xian man, have children, and are killed in a car wreck. He remarries another good xian woman, he and the kids love her as much as they did you....who do they get to spend eternity with? you or her? or are you all together as one big happy family?