Life after divorce/affair?

Welcome to life. Get back out there and stop being so melodramatic. Pretty soon, your stories at the water cooler will be about random hookups with 20 something hotties, and the unbelievable stuff she did to you last night... and the married guys will be ones missing out.

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Stop crying on yourself, stop lingering in old memories that are gone forever: wasting time thinking over and over about what could have been leads nowhere, instead of doing that, cherish in your heart what has been and move on. Life isn't over, things don't always go the way we plan, there are circumstances in life that we cannot change, no matter how hard we try or wish we could, so the only thing we can do is to change the way we look at those circumstances instead. Come to terms with the changes that occurred in your life and move on; things will be the same but that doesn't mean that your life cannot be just as good as it was or even better one day. Life is full of possibilities, a divorce is not the end of the world, the world is teem with nice people, open your heart, and give yourself a chance to be happy again with someone else. Remember, as long as you and your children are healthy, the rest doesn't matter.

courtesy of Happy-2:

How to move on from your ex:

Remove Old Photos: Make sure there are no photos of you and your ex lying around the house. You could be having a great day and then all of a sudden go into a drawer and find a photo of the two of you hugging in a swimming pool. While you may not have gotten sunburned at the pool, you might have gotten burned by your ex and you don't need to be reminded of it. Pack up all of the photos and put them in a box far away from any place you could stumble upon it. Save cell phone pictures to a folder in a location you never or rarely go to.

Go New Places: Going to the same restaurants, cafés and coffee shops that you went to with your ex should be off your radar. It's best to find new places with new faces. Don't go into places where they know you as a couple when you want the world to now know you as a single person.

Remove Cell Phone Reminders: Delete any old voicemail messages or texts from your ex. That birthday text message your former partner sent you last year might have been cute then, but if you stumble upon it now it loses its luster. Clear out your inbox and make room for all the new messages and possibilities.

Select New Music: Don't listen to songs that remind you of your ex. There's nothing like making an effort to put your ex out of your mind and then the song that played when you started dating starts up on your iPod. Clear the decks and make a new playlist.

Login to Your New Life: The Internet probably contains many reminders of your ex. Your Facebook may need the biggest clean-up. Head in there and delete any photos with both of you together. Also, the friends that went over to your ex's side of the fence once the split happened should be unfriended immediately.

Think Positive Thoughts: It's not just physical things that can remind you of your ex. Thoughts that we have can change our outlook on life, so think positively. Don't remind yourself of all of the things your ex did that you couldn't stand. Instead, be positive and focus on all of the things you're going to achieve in your new life.

Make Notes of Your Progress: Write down the progress that you're making as a new single person. Get a journal and put down your thoughts as they come to you. List where you've been and where you're headed. This will keep your eye on the prize -- happiness.

In a divorce recovery class I took they taught us that it takes 6 months to a year to get over the initial hurt and despair. It sounds like your recovery is right on schedule. Be glad it happened to you early on. You still have a lot of great years ahead of you. Now that you are taking better care of yourself physically - get out there and do things for your emotional health. Join a gym to meet new people. Volunteer at community events or take up a hobby you never had time for before. You will meet new people with like interests and feel like actually dating again. If I can do it after the break-up of a 24 year relationship and marriage you can too! I just celebrated 11 terrific years of a second marriage to a wonderful man. Love can truly be better the second time around. Hang in there!

To answer the nipple question...all embryos start out physically female.....then, the y chromosome directs the genitalia to start developing into male equipment....it just doesn't address the cells designated to form into nipples and mammary glands...btw, if injected with certain hormones, males will lactate....

As far as your rant...I was married 22 years with four great kids when the Ex took a hike....turned his back on it all so I get it. Stayed single for 10 years...then met a great guy who I snapped up fast-but to hear him tell it, he snapped me up lol.....Divorce opened up a whole new world for me in 1) I didn't need a man to be financially independent and to validate me 2) No man is better than an manipulative, self involved one and the best thing 3) I was available for a really good man.

My light took ten years....those years I spent NOT bemoaning my single status but working on making a better ME...and it paid off. Try it.

LOL, not sure about about my men have nipples. You'll have to ask your doc about that one!

Listen man, I really feel for you. I'm 37 years old, it'll be 12 years of marriage for my wife and I in March and I feel really happy and blessed to have what I have. The thought of losing it all like you brings me down. So my friend, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry you're going through this. But listen! There's hope. There really is! Hear me out. You can meet someone that will restore all faith in falling in love and living happy. You can't give up and live miserable the rest of your life. You sound like you're about my age, you're still VERY young. Look, I don't know what your beliefs are, but try this: The nights you're REALLY feeling it and you feel so incredibly lonely, close your eyes and ask the Lord to bring peace in your heart. The kind of peace only HE can give you. Have faith that He can restore your life, if you ask Him and if you let Him! Give God a chance to make amazinf changes in your life. I'm telling you, He can do this for you. He WANTS to do it. Ask Him to send you a woman that will love and respect you. Give it a try brother. I really hope you find happiness and joy in life again. Don't give up.

God Bless

I'm going through this too. I'm scanning in all of those pictures with the intent that we both have copies versus dividing them up. Also, I'm keeping the pictures of her and I and all of those milestones and our cards and love letters. Those are part of our kid's histories and they deserve to know that we were in love and they came into this world with patents that were in love and had the best intentions.

You and I need to heal ourselves and that takes time. I'm 11 months into this divorce and I hurt. Focus on rebuilding yourself and being the best father you can be. I highly suggest a book called The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. Its about personal development. Set goals for yourself. Take classes. Read books, Travel. Build a better you. Write a book. Hit the gym. Time will heal. Keep yourself busy. In time, you will be ready for the next step...this is what I'm doing.

I think it's odd that nowhere in your details do you even mention an attempt at reconciliation. I cheated on my wife once, over 15 years ago. Five years ago, she got fired from a career job for a drug addiction. We got through BOTH of those horrible periods in our married life, and we are stronger now than ever. There is no law that says you have to divorce over an affair.

You really just need to move on try dating or something like that it gets easier. I don't know what to say about men having nipples lol.