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People asking for money when they know you are struggling yourself-everyone's thoughts...?
Me and my husband both work to pay bills. He has been out of work with a hurt back. His job has no sick time, and we've been having to pay out money for co-pay and medicines. I was so stressed out about us not having enough money to pay our bills the other day I wanted to cry. And his mom was over at our house seeing how her son was doing. She knows that we are going to be tight with money for a while. Because I told her that we didn't know what we were going to do. She asks us for money every paycheck. But this time I thought she would know better. But I got paid and was talking to my husband tonight. He said he bought her medicines for her today. Here I am stressing and worrying about what we are going to do about our bills, and he turns around and gives her money. Then when I get mad. He says "I knew I shouldn't have told you". I'm not stupid I would have found out. I am so mad. I'm mad at both of them. I'm mad that she had the nerve to ask when she knew the situation we were in. And I'm mad at him for giving it to her, after I told him that we wouldn't be able to give her any money this week. What's everyone thoughts on this?
Someone had wondered if we have kids. Yes, we do have a child. So that makes it even harder on me. I'm already supporting 3 people right now, I can't do much more. And yes, I know it is his mom. But she has been coming to us for money for the past 3 years. And when you tell her about a job that's hiring, she always makes an excuse up to why she doesn't want to apply for it. I don't mind helping someone for a small amount of time, but after 3 years it gets old. Plus, we already have a loan we took out for her and now we are stuck paying on us. That's after she lied and said she would pay it, and never did. Plus, she asked him to go get her a loan while I was sleeping one night. i was working early the next day, so i went to bed early. But he told me. And I agreed to do it, because it was his mom. Now his credit is bad because of her. Plus, we have been helping her a lot in the past and we almost lost our home, because we were trying to help her too. I don't m
5 Answers
- Anonymous7 years ago
I would sit your husband and his mother down and say, we can not longer afford our bills. We can not give you money for your needs any longer. You have to find assistance somewhere else. I am happy to help you contact medicare, medicaid, the government for any assistance I can be we can no longer give you our money. Please don't ask you son because he feels compelled to help you but then our marriage and bills suffer.
Does your husband have any other family that she can go to for help? Are you able to get any help like food stamps while he is hurt? what about disability or unemployment? I know we are sometimes to proud to ask for this type of assistance but that is what it is there for. Please look into it.
- Mr. YukLv 67 years ago
Obviously this is a bad situation, but his mother is now also your family, so you should show a little empathy for her needs as well. If there is something she can do to help you with stress (such as babysit the kids) then ask her.
- ?Lv 77 years ago
His mom is very selfish and is taking advantage of you guys, but especially him. He wants his money for herself. Both of you should have a talk with her and tell her that as time passes she needs to fins herself a place to live. You are lucky that you guys don't have any children, otherwise it would be worse. Your mother in law moved in with you guys to live off of you. We even have to be careful with parents these days.
- Anonymous7 years ago
I totally agree with you! But i can also see it from his point of view because its his mum, the woman that brought him into this world he must feel oblidged to help her. Hope things get better for you!
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- ♠ Merlin ♠Lv 77 years ago
its not about people asking
its about your husband giving it
when she asked he could have said
sorry only my wife is earning, and working hard to pay the bills so we need every penny we have
instead he wanted to appear a big man
and thought about lying about it
harsh though it is
i would stop him having access to the household money
she asks EVERY paycheck?
this needs to stop
