My Brother up and died on me on Tuesday?

Question

...he was 76, and probably my best friend, but, he greived a long time after he lost his wife of 53 years.  He went from a vibrant, healthy man, to a frail, ugly, skinny person that I didn't even know, in only 3 1/2 years.

My problem is; at his funeral there were a lot of tears, even from his four children, ages in their 40's and 50's.   But, I couldn't show any, but, then I never could openly cry.  I did shed tears as soon as I got home though, and when I was trying to comfort his daughter-in-law (her husband was at work) when we rushed in to find him still; I had a lump in my throat.  Maybe it's because Dad always told me, when I was growing up, that it wasn't "manly" to show emotion in public.

I'm wondering if some of the two hundred or so of the others thought that I was being hard-nosed.

Good-by Bob, I love you !!!!    Say hi to God for me.

Thank you.

dolly · Accepted Answer

So very sorry! I lost my daughter last October. She was 50 yrs old. Check around and find a support group that deals with death of a loved one. Usually hospitals have free meetings.. Check out the Internet.

Good by Bob!

m · Answer

m answered 
First, I'm sorry to hear this. Everyone grieves differently and really there is no timeline. It gets to a point that everyone does have to go on with life. If it's prolonged perhaps letting your doctor know. The Grand Physician us God. Think about it He knows what it feels like to lose a loved one in death...Jesus his son died although for a valuable reason it had to be painful. Reach out to Him see Psalms 147:3. The fact that Jesus died us hope for you and all of us that he did so to take death away as promised at Isaiah 25:8 and Revelation 21:3 and 4. If you don't have a Bible go to jw.org can read online and search information that will help you cope with your loss.

barthebear · Answer

Im sorry. My brother's name is Bob also.   People have very different ways of grieving and some do not involve tears. Maybe it is genetic and your father 's father didn't cry also?  Different cultures handle death differently also.
Often the people crying the most are not truly grieving the most or for as long so it means nothing and you should not be worrying what others think. If your brother was so miserable after his wife's death, perhaps it is for the best he is now at peace. It is wonderful you two were best friends because often there is more rivalry and competition between brothers and they are not best friends. I am sorry for your huge loss.

? · Answer

I'm sorry for your loss.  My grandmother never cries at funerals, because that was how she was raised.  It's not expected for older folks to cry in front of anyone ever, but you can if you want to and no one worthy will judge you.

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My Brother up and died on me on Tuesday?

4 Answers