My 19 year old step-son does nothing. How can I make him help out?

"He is an adult so we can't ground him or punish him." Bull.

This is my house. These are my rules. Live by them, or find your own place to live.

If he goes out, and rents his apartment, there are rules and expectations there as well. Life is full of rules and expectations.

If he were to go out, and rent a place with roommates, which is essentially what he is to you, albeit a lousy one, his housemates would not tolerate his limited involvement in household chores and duties.

My son will be living with me, during his first two years of college. He will be expected to contribute to the household. Financially, and chore-wise. And he, at 17 does way more than you ask of that 19 yr old, and has been doing so for years. You aren't doing him any favors babying him.

Financially, we aren't asking much, he'll in essence be paying the tv bill, as he wants tv in his room, and I'm unwilling to pay for it. Chorewise, my son does his laundry, cleans his room, does not keep food related trash in his room, cleans the bathrooms, picks up after the dogs, takes out the trash, and does the dishes. He's a member of this family, and this household. Not a guest.

Edit: As for how, he's an adult, sit down and talk to him, adult roommate to adult roommate. Explain the conditions of renting a room from you. Explain, that if these conditions are unacceptable to him, you understand and are more than willing to help him pack. It's that simple.

Nothing, he is a lost teen, not totally different then many of his peers, these kids see no future, no hope, they don't see the American dream, they see that it doesn't matter what they do, life will suck anyways, they have been conditioned to believe that success doesn't matter and they wont be rewarded for it anyways. They don't fit into the current educational model. They have been programed that those that don't, are failures or stupid. It is not just parenting, it is the way that our society is heading in, there is very little support out there for these kids, they aren't really bad, they just don't fit into what is considered the norm. We know have an entire generation of them.

All you can do is help them move forward, working or schooling, either can give the illusion of moving forward even if they don't see a future, buys them time to hopefully figure it out.

If he's such an adult he wouldn't be living like a cockroach in your home. Lay down the law...if XYZ doesn't happen we will take your TV (insert anything of value) & sell it to pay for a cleaning woman.

One of my kids lost an xbox to cover his insurance bill...he almost died. However he has never been so much as one day late again.

You establish some rules. Either he enroll in college, get a full time job, or move out. At 19 he can figure it out fast that if he's broke, he will struggle.

your house, your rules. stay on him to do the things you've asked...not caring that it may annoy him. eventually he'll get sick of hearing you two in his ear and he will either do his part OR go back to his mother. hopefully he will realize that he can't live anywhere without responsibilities. and you want him to be thankful later in his real adult years and not be "a thankless one" as a Bible Proverb says.

make him move out

you tell him to buck up or ship out

just chuck him out