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alex asked in HealthMental Health · 7 years ago

PLEASE HELP ME. In desperate need of honest opinions and help. Is it wrong of me to want to feel emotionally healthy?

So I am 20 years old, roughly 6 months pregnant and my babys father is not involved, doesn't believe the baby is his and I guess wants a DNA test. I have had the toughest time and most stressful pregnancy. I lived in AZ all my life and my parents told me a few months ago that we are moving to Minnesota. Our house is huge and full of so many things, they think they are moving by the end of the summer but everyone I know thinks its impossible with how much stuff we have to move or give away to charity. Last month I began looing at school programs in Minnesota and found this "pregnancy care college" in St. Cloud Minnesota that helps young mothers, I thought this place seemed beneficial and something that would give me hope. My parents backed me up 100% and basically just rushed me to make this decision to leave to Minnesota \ early before they move, kind of like they wanted me to leave, but maybe im just being too sensitive. I came here thinking everything would be ok and realized its not. !st off, this place is NOT what I expected at all. This place is clearly for TEEN moms with absolutely no structure in their life which is the complete opposite of who I am. I am extremely hormonal and home sick, im crying and stressing almost every day here without my sister and parents, and I was just diagnosed with mild depression by my counselor here. Right now my heart is telling me to move back to AZ but my parents are telling me don't. im just so confused. is it wrong to want this?

3 Answers

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  • 7 years ago

    It's not wrong to want support, especially when you're alone in a new community and pregnant! Have you spoken with the workers there about how you feel it isn't a great fit for you? And maybe they can give you some suggestions for other options. Is it possible you could move to your dad's new place in MN? Have you spoken with your parents about the stress you're experiencing?

    Your pregnancy hormones probably aren't helping. But if your counsellor is concerned that you might be a little depressed, it might be helpful to have that support. Maybe look into other resources in the community (maybe things like groups for expectant adult moms, or pre-natal classes, etc.) that might help you meet new people - it can be helpful to connect with other parents/parents-to-be as they can be new friends, but also helpful supports once you're a parent.

    Unfortunately your parents are probably right about you not being able to fly closer to your due date. If you are worried about the father attempting to take the baby, I'd get some legal advice. Custody/access is something you may need to deal with in the future anyway.

    Ultimately you need to make your own decision based on what's right for you.

  • Jeremy
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    it's not wrong at all to want support you need it honestly.. and thats a shame if the babys father doesn't wanna help you. if you wanna move back then just do it hun. and dont cry its gonna be okay.. if you ever wanna talk or something or just need to vent you can message me if you want.. i know how it is being depressed and it sucks :/ but its gonna be okay hun

  • 7 years ago

    ****My parents think if I happen to deliver in AZ that my babys father would make threats and try to take the baby away from me or that I wouldn't be able to fly by the time we do move to Minnesota...... I did forget to mention that my dads work got transferred here, so he is the whole reason why we are moving. He does currently live down here in MN, however he is an hour and a half away. I don't see him ever, I spend most weekend alone. I just need my mom and sister. My dad is also going a whole month to az in July to be with my mom and sis and is expecting me to be here with no stress. I have so much anxiety, I just mentally feel like I cant do this. But confused to if this is a good choice to make? Because my parents insist that this is a poor decision to make.

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