How can I make them see what I see?

Question

My parents seem to think my boyfriend is a criminal, they have not spoken to him they have only seen pictures. They're constantly worried that he's going to get me pregnant, or that if I divulge any information about my parents eg. Bank details (which I would never do) that he would steal all their money. My mum thinks I've stolen her jewellery to buy drugs! They think he's going to f*ck my life up. 
In reality my boyfriend has had a horrible past and was on drugs but has been clean since he was 19, (30 now) he works so hard and is very focused on his career (engineer), he shares everything with me (his bank account, his password for everything, his car etc) he pays for everything eg food, texts books for uni, uni fees, doctors appointments (I'm on a waiting list for an operation so I have a lot of appointments). If we have an argument, he's the one that wants to talk it out (from my past relationships that was always my job)
So how do I get my parents to see what I see? He is not allowed at my house, if I say anything about him my parents will start screaming at me. They said they will never accept him, but they don't know him and it's killing us both. My parents have sworn at him, called him a b*****d and he still respects them.

Kirsten · Answer

You don't say how old you are? I agree with Robman. Make a time to sit down and have an adult conversation not just a passing talk in the kitchen or watching TV. Explain that they have done a great job  bringing you up and they should trust your judgment. They clearly care about you but are so judgmental they are unable to see the truth. let them know that if they choose not to support your decision and respect your choices and judgment they will loose you and your respect for them. Acknowledge that yes like everyone else on earth it may or not work out but at this time in this place he is the guy you love and if they cannot support that then they may push you away and force you to live with him - which you possibly are not ready to do, considering your still at home - that should give them a dose of reality! When they realize their actions may push you away they may give him a chance. Good Luck!!  I have a blog if your interested link below :-)

AbdulRahman · Answer

Your parents are just being judgemental and selfish, if he had still been on drugs then fair enough but not when hes 11 years clean! if your parents keep doing this and its really upsetting you then my advice is to move out.
He sounds like a decnt guy now, so they should be able to see that

Anonymous · Answer

I'm in the same boat as your boyfriend, apart from me having a bad past as luckily enough I've had a good upbringing and so on. Basically what I did was let it go, I had no choice otherwise it eats away at you. Basically I drop my GF of at her parents and don't look or say a word and then I drive off, same when I pick her up. My partner does not allow them around our house at all. It will get better just give it time

Allie · Answer

You all need to learn some empathy.

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How can I make them see what I see?

4 Answers