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My dad asked my boytriend if he will marry me and its only been 2 months!?

Ive been seeing this guy for two months. We met onlibe a few weeks before that. I told him i wanted to get to know him better before sex, so we waited almost a month and the first time he couldnt even get it up he was so nervous! After i told him i was jealous he was seeing other girls, he told me he got rid of them as he sees me as longer term potential and asked me to be his girlfriend.

My dad now wanted to meet him (they never met.any guy i dated as i was a late boomer. Im 25 and my guy is 26). I waited three weeks before asking my guy to meet my dad. He was super nervous, but said he would do it for me and we scheduled it.

It was so awkward bc my dad basically interrogated him (hes traditional and from another country and both parents are religious. I am somewhat and my boyfriend isnt at all though he was raised catholic). My dad asked if he was there to propose and if.not what were his intentions. He said to take time to get to know me as we havent known each other that long. I agreed n that eventually i want marriage, but i dont know if its him.

After, i asked my bf his thoughts on marriage that he really doesnt believe in the institution and feel people just do it because its time, but arent happy. He saiid he prob will get married one day since he wants kids and society expexts it of him. I told him how i think marriage is the ultimate symbol of love and commitment.he gotit.he knos i wont live w a guy unless were engaged. Does it sound like our rs is doomed!?

5 Answers

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  • 7 years ago

    This whole thing is nonsensical. Somehow after only 2 months of dating, you're having convos that your relationship isn't ready for. What alarmed me most was your statement that you wouldn't move in with anyone unless you were engaged. Huh?!?

    You just set the stage for a "shut her up" proposal. If he decides he wants the maid, sex partner, cook, etc, and you're dragging your feet, he'll propose and you'll get a pretty ring. None of this has anything to do with a true engagement, or proof that he'll marry you. A ring doesn't have magical powers.

    I doubt there's much future here, but if you want to give this a fair chance, table all these premature discussions and get to truly know him. You're trying to define a relationship long before it's ready, and there's never a good reason to do this.

  • 7 years ago

    Doomed, because no one should ever describe their private time together online, for any reason. I'm sure this guy would be extra pleased to read what you've posted here, which will now live in the internet forever.

    This is what is wrong with online dating - and online anything else.

    You don't have a relationship with anyone, and you won't until you take the computer out of the equation.

  • 7 years ago

    Keep dating, if you want to get to know him better.

    However:

    "i asked my bf his thoughts on marriage that he really doesnt believe in the institution and feel people just do it because its time, but arent happy. He saiid he prob will get married one day since he wants kids and society expexts it of him"

    It sounds like you both have different life goals. At age 25/26, you're both old enough to have a fairly good idea of what you want out of your lives. You don't want to spend a few years dating this guy and trying to talk him into marriage, only to find that he only agreed to it to shut you up or because it was "expected" of him.

    It's OK if you want to get married someday. It's OK if he doesn't want to get married. But you're probably not going to come to a common ground.

    And, from my experience, "he really doesnt believe in the institution [of marriage]" is what guys say when they want to keep sleeping around and they want the freedom to bail out of a steady relationship when they get bored. No, not everyone is like this, but a lot of people are.

    As for your dad's opinions, ignore them. If you're an adult and you don't live with him, then he gets no say in your life. You should've ignored him, ended the conversation/changed the subject, or been direct ("Geez, Dad, way to lay it on thick. We just started dating. No need to give him the third degree about marriage").

  • ?
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    How would you know if it's doomed? You haven't known each other long enough to even know if you want to continue dating let alone marry each other. I loved your dad's response. I feel if that didn't scare the guy off, he's more solid than one would think. Date and stop discussing marriage.

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  • 7 years ago

    I think you guys should spend more time to get to know each other. It sounds like you guys understand each other well, but time will always give you the answer. Your right, he may not be the one for you, and you may not want to marry him. Is your dad going to force you guys to get married in some way? (I'm not religious, so I apologize if i dont understand or somehow insult you.) And no, as long as you give your relationship time, it doesn't sound like it's absolutely doomed.

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