Cutting????

I have been a veteran cutter. I have been struggling with what you are feeling for over 25 years. Cutting helps for a little while but it becomes addictive and eventually your parents will see it. I have a daughter who has self harmed in a number of ways and we are getting her help and I have just discovered my other daughter has tried cutting as well. As a parent, I don't feel angry at my girls for trying it, I know how it feels to want the pain to go from your heart and head to somewhere external, but I want them to stop because it really hurts to see they would resort to this, knowing what I have been through with self harm. If you need the endorphin's and adrenaline, which are the chemicals your brain releases when you are in pain, there are less permanent ways of getting at them. One way is to hold a cube of ice in your hand until the chemicals kick in to gear. It causes the pain without the scarring. As you get older and look at the ugly scars on your body, you will regret them. My kids have asked about them and I have had to tell them where they came from. It wasn't a joy filled conversation. I still want to harm myself from time to time and I am nearing 40. I'm in counselling and on meds but too much stress can make even the strongest of us crumble. Remember that struggling through these feelings makes you one of the strong ones.

It may sound silly coming from someone my age, but if I am really low and am feeling overwhelmed to the point i want to hurt myself, I put on some trance or fast paced music when I am all on my own and I dance hard and angry. That can also release the endorphins that makes us feel happy. Another technique is to draw a picture of the anger that you are experiencing. Not of what is making you angry but of what that anger might look like if you could see it... colour, shape etc. I couldn't do it sometimes because I would be so filled with black rage that I wanted to snap the pencils, but once I had drawn the picture, I would rip it into a hundred pieces.

Long story short, cutting helps until you become addicted and then you are cutting even when you aren't really angry, it just becomes something that you do. Going for a run, skipping rope really fast, getting your heart rate up to some fast thrashy music - it helps if it is loud and can drown out your thoughts - and if all else fails, hold and ice cube. Try not to cut, it can too easily get out of hand and become a habit that will bother you once you learn to properly manage these more negative emotions.

I hope you are feeling in a better head space soon.

In a way yes but it's not good for you. I have the same problem although I never cut myself I always think about but never would.

No! Don't let anger conquer you. Change your thoughts. It's your thoughts that cause your anger. Try to seek therapy if you can't change your thoughts, but you can, if you THINK that you can't change your thoughts it's only because you falsely believe that you can't change your thoughts. Change your beliefs to I CAN change my thoughts then do it. You feel (good or bad) according to the way you think.