Is it to early to propose?

When would you hope to marry? Next summer?

If so, I think a year's engagement would be acceptable.

However, your view that you should have employment and perhaps some debt paid off is sensible. Why not propose shortly before or after graduation? You could still be engaged for a year, and during that year, your first together without being students, you could develop greater certainty about whether you are really meant to spend your lives together.

Because frankly, you are very young and have no real experience with anyone else.

But good luck to you both. I hope it all works out for you.

Have the two of you discussed marriage and a timeline/criteria for when this should happen? If not, it's definitely too early to propose. The how/where of the proposal is generally a surprise, but that a proposal is imminent shouldn't be.

When I was 20 I thought I was straight (I'm not).

When I was 20 I thought I wanted to be a teacher. I changed my mind.

When I was 20 I thought I wanted kids (I don't).

When I was 20 I was interested in spiritualism (I'm an atheist).

When I was 20 I was a vegetarian (I'm not).

When I was 20 I was an idealistic bleeding heart liberal feminist (I'm not).

I really didn't become "who I am" until I was about 30. I'm 44 now.

In the spirit of full disclosure I have been with my partner for 22 years (got together when I was 22) and I am very happy in my relationship despite a few events and tough times that rocked it a bit. But I am one of the lucky ones. You will exponentially increase the likelihood of your marriage lasting if you wait 2-3 years to get engaged and 4-5 to get married.

In any case, there ARE couples who get engaged/married very young that DO last. It can be done.

My best advice is to make sure you are both truly committed - and agree on how you will handle things when it gets tough (because it WILL). Are you both willing to see a licensed marriage and family therapist?

Have you discussed if you want kids? If yes, when?

Have you discussed how you will handle your finances and financial priorities?

Have you discussed religion and how you will handle differences (how kids will be raised)?

Are there any problems with potential in-law relations?

Does one of you have a cat and the other is allergic?

Will her St. Bernard be allowed to sleep in the bed?

Is one of you a slob and the other a neat freak?

Do you have a common peer group of other couples?

Do you like/trust each others' friends?

What will happen if one of your aging parents runs out of money and needs to move in?

What is your tolerance level for house guests?

What happens if one of you gets a DREAM JOB but it's 2000 miles away? Are you both willing to relocate?

Can you agree to disagree about politics?

Can you communicate openly about sex?

Do you share similar ethics, morals and values?

Does one of you like the house to be 75 while the other thinks it's sweltering?

Ok...those are just a few things that you want to be on the same page about REGARDLESS of your age. The big things are important but the little things can be little wounds that fester over time, too.

The important thing is that the two of you are absolutely committed NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. Whatever problems arise, you work together to find a solution. You don't lie, you don't avoid, you don't blame...you work that crap out. It's a give and take.

And at 20, I just don't know if you can know all those things or really know how committed each of you are. Most people at 20 really haven't had any true "tests" of their relationship, commitment and skills. You barely know who you are.

Yes it is too early.

You are both so very young. I do not recommend anyone under the age of 25 or better yet 28 get married. There is so

Much growing and changing you have to do.

If you have been together that long, that is really your entire teen years, when you were old enough to date. It's nice and romantic, but really and truly do you need to lock yourself into someone for your entire life you met as a teenager? Do you want your life based on a choice you made as a teenager?

Think about it. Truly think about it.

I'm almost 50. I speak from observing life, living life, making good choices and making bad choices for almost 1/2 a century.

Yes, finish school and get a job and if you still want to propose by that time, then it would be more appropriate. This is coming from a 25 year old woman who had her college sweetheart propose to her during college and it didn't work out. Now I'm with someone else and we're both far more mature and financially stable in life. It's worth it to wait. Believe me, if she's the right person for you then she won't go anywhere.

if you want to plan to marry anytime between july of 2016 and july of 2017, then july of 2015 will not be too early to propose. the timing of a proposal should not be set upon anything except how far away from the actual wedding date it is. an engagement should not last longer than 2 years, so if you plan to marry within two years of your proposal, do it.

as for the other things....those are things to use to decide whether or not you are ready to start thinking about getting married. if you feel it is going to be 3 years before you will be ready for actually getting married....then wait for another year to propose.

I think your thought process is very healthy, and you should listen to yourself!

Of course it makes sense to be more debt free, start careers, etc. but that isn't even the biggest problem with premature engagements. The biggest problem is the false pressure it puts on you, and this has the potential to sabotage a very promising relationship.

I've seen a lot of this, both in real life and in this section. Suddenly, you substitute the healthy process you're experiencing now of 2 people starting to morph into a mature, adult relationship. The new substitute is "wedding". You know, the wedding you're not ready for.

It would make a lot more sense to get her something over there (jewelry or even a token) and when you give it to her, attach some kind of promise to it. It can be whatever you want it to signify.

It takes 2 - 4 years to know someone fully. No, it's not too early to propose.

I agree with you that it'd be best to graduate, get jobs, and pay off some debt before you worry about marriage.

No, do it! You can propose there, and wait to get married for a few years! I think that would be SO romantic!! :) Best of luck!

I say go for it! Maybe get your friends to help you plan the engagement!