My cousin's daughter, age 30, is getting married to her long time "live together" boyfriend.?

There aren't any rules per say.She can have whatever she wants.

Since they obviously have a household already, you could have a recipe shower. It would be a nice party, easy enough, and since she has not been married, why not give her the same as any other bride might expect?

Get a nice big scrapbook, and some scrap booking materials for guests to add, and ask them each to bring one of their most useful recipes, their favorites, a family recipe- something they think is special. The end result will be a special book that will be a gift from everyone who contributed. That would be appropriate for any bride.

My opinion is "Why Not?". This is a first wedding. So what if they are established. Maybe their towels need an upgrade. Or they would like a capucino maker. Or they need a new blender that blends and liquidates and purees. Or matching fluffy bathrobes might be nice.

They might be living with pots and pans they bought at a garage sale since they probably could not afford much years ago.

If you love her, then yes, shower her with gifts, with all the niceties of a household.

And please relay a hearty mazel tov from all of us at yahoo answers.

God bless....Ricardo.

Historically, a party of that type is held by friends of the bride to "shower" a young woman who hasn't yet left home with the things she'll need to start married life.

If you are invited, you needn't attend.

This is fine, why deprive her? It's not illegal, nor morally wrong--a friend wants to host a shower/party for her. Nice friend. If anyone has any objections the can stay at home.

I'm not sure how whether their childten were planned relates to the question.

She may plan a shower since they aren't yet married. That said, it wouldn't be appropriate if they truly don't need anything and aren't planning on registering (money, gift cards, and honeymoons don't count).

Since ahe has nit had a wedding or shower before, then it is a go.

However, since they already have a established home, traditional gifts wouldnt be necesary. The MOH can still host a shower with a theme, for example, lingerie shower, or christmas ornamebt shower, or recipe shower.

Good luck

She is not married, she can get an shower, if someone gives her one.

Only rules I know of, she is not married, the bride does not ask for one

There are no rules

Most couples nowadays live together before they get married, so they are no different.

NOPE. THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY WAN'T. THERE ARE NO "RULES" TO MARRIAGE. JUST TRADITION AND ITS THE 21ST CENTURY