Is it normal for someone with ADD to be rude and then say they weren't rude?

Question

Ok, so me and my friend Ben ( he has ADD) were shopping at Wegmans the other day. We only bought a few items, some drinks and trail mix. As the cashier was ringing up our items, some old man put his items on the belt, and the cashier asked if those items were ours. One of the old mans items was a carton of milk. Now Ben, he drinks almond milk and not regular milk. So Ben then says sarcastically "Yuck, Milk, who drinks that, now almond milk, that's the way to go". Now he did say it sarcastically, but it sounded really rude and the old man looked upset afterwards. When we were in the parking lot I told him "hey that was a little rude back there", then he went ballistic and said "I WAS JOKING, IT'S NOT LIKE I CALLED HIM AN ASSHOLE OR ANYTHING". This is really frustrating because he makes rude comments all the time without even realizing it. He also complains that his teacher is too hard on him and gives him too much work, when in reality, it only takes about 15 minutes to do the work.

loopdeloop · Answer

I personally knew two people with ADD in the past. They both do seem to lack a bit of "emotional intelligence" in terms of how their words affect other people.

I've read that people with ADD may be slower at recognizing certain social etiquette (although not always the case), so that might be the explanation for the person you are talking about as well as the two people I know. Although it might also have nothing to do with their ADD, and more to do with their personality or parenting that they've had. In any case, it probably isn't necessary to mention his ADD being the cause of it to him (because ADD is a high functioning mental disorder in most cases-so he is completely capable of learning to better his behaviors. It doesn't help him in any way to excuse it because of his ADD).

Try calmly explaining to him why it was rude, so that he can learn from it.
Be like,  " I know you weren't trying to be rude, but I'm just saying that even if it was unintentional the other man might've taken it differently from how you meant it. I mean, I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate a stranger coming up to you to say, "EW ALMOND MILK" if you were buying some. I'm just looking out for you because I now you're better than that."

Although honestly, if he is immature he might take these types of lectures as an annoyance.

Messykatt · Answer

ADD has nothing to do with rudeness, nor does it give him a get out of jail free card for acting this way.   Maybe it's time to find a friend who isn't so annoying?

Gary C · Answer

People with ADD have trouble interpreting social signals. So he may not be able to judge when other people are perceiving his conduct as rude. They also tend to take longer to finish tasks. So yes, what you describe is typical for a person with ADD.

Anonymous · Answer

D*ckheads like your friend go out of their way to excuse their abusive behaviour, and it's often by claiming they have some sort of condition, such as ADD. Really, he is just a d*ckhead

Ashley · Answer

Nah. He's just a herk who happens to have ADD.

InfinityMidnight · Answer

ADD does not give him the excuse to do that. It just makes it harder to pay attention and sit still. He's just a butthole

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Is it normal for someone with ADD to be rude and then say they weren't rude?

6 Answers